Guest Post – Her Name Is Rehtaeh Parsons

Posted with permission – Kim’s Corner

She could be your daughter.  She could be your friend.  She could be the girl two houses over, who babysits your kids or walks your dog.

She could be any 17 yr. old girl trying to get through this roller coaster we call life.

She loved animals. She was a big sister. She cared about people. She brought joy to her family.  She was a nice girl.

She was also raped.  She was bullied relentlessly.  She was let down by the systems (yes multiple) in place to protect her.

And 13 months ago, she took her own life to end the pain.

I’m not going to link to anything specific here.

Simply Google Rehtaeh Parsons.  You’ll find her.

You’ll read her story.

And if you have any sense of what’s ‘right’ and ‘just’ in this world, you’ll be outraged.

And as a woman, a mom, most likely … you’ll cry.

Her case is still pending.

Justice has not yet been served.

Nobody has been punished.

Dirtbags are still walking free.

And her family has been threatened

As of last week, the media is no longer allowed to publish information aboutRehtaeh’s case.

Her family isn’t allowed to publicly discuss her case with them, because there is now an ‘official publication ban’ in place.

Well guess what?  I’m not family.

Hell, I’m not even a family friend.  I’m not media, and I’m not part of ‘the case’ in any way whatsoever, so I’m here to tell you …

Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons!

She loved animals. She was a big sister.  She cared about people. She brought joy to her family. She was a nice girl.

She was also raped.  She was bullied relentlessly. She was let down by the systems (yes multiple) in place to protect her.

And 13 months ago, she took her own life to end the pain.

I know, I just repeated myself.  I’m making a point. That being …

Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons!

And she still deserves justice.

“A provincial court judge in Halifax cited a mandatory publication ban in reference to a prominent child pornography case.”  – The Vancouver Sun.

That should read, ‘… in the Rehtaeh Parsons child pornography case.’

Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons.

“The publication ban cited comes under Section 486 of the Criminal Code, which prevents the naming of alleged victims in some cases.” – The Vancouver Sun

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!?!??!

You have concern over protecting Rehtaeh’s identity NOW?

Where was the concern for Rehtaeh when she needed it over a year ago?

Two teenage boys are facing charges for child pornography.  One is being charged with making child pornography.

The only people this ban may be ‘protecting’ would be THEM!

Certainly NOT Rehtaeh.

Officials in MANY different departments; police, healthcare, education, the legal system … they ALL failed her.

People who were supposed to be her friends.  FAILED HER!

What is this publication ban to ‘protect’ her supposed to accomplish, now?

Not sure.

What is it actually going to accomplish?

It’s going to piss off people like me.

People who are NOT media, but yet have a forum to remind you … 

Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons!
Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons!

You regulars in the Korner are already aware, that I have always tried to take a stand against bullying.

Even more so after the death of Amanda Todd.

I’m trying to raise two teenage boys in a world that accepts and … in some cases … encourages violence against women.

I have an uphill battle.

But I refuse to give up.

I refuse to stop talking to them about Rehtaeh  and Amanda.

I refuse to let my boys think that ANY kind of bullying, or violence against women … or anyone for that matter, is OK.

I refuse to let them think there are no consequences for bad choices.

I refuse to let them turn into Dirtbags.

Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons.  And I make sure they know it.

On May 16th, the judge will determine whether or not the publication ban should be lifted.

Until then … Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons.

And since the media can’t do it, I’ll take a moment to remind you all …

  • It is NOT OK to take an inappropriate video/picture of someone.
  • It is NOT OK to distribute that video/picture among the masses.
  • It is NOT OK to torment the victim of the video/picture.
  • It is NOT OK to take ‘drunk’ as a ‘yes’ for sex.  Anything other than a ‘yes’ or ‘take me now!’ … is a ‘NO!’
  • It is NOT OK to bully and taunt and threaten and generally make someone’s life miserable through social media.  And yes, this includes ALL social media.
  • And most importantly … it is NOT OK to let the Dirtbags who ruin someone’s life, simply walk away without facing ANY consequences

Where is the justice in that?

Rehtaeh Parsons
Rehtaeh Parsons

Where is the justice for Rehtaeh Parsons?

That’s right. Her name is Rehtaeh Parsons. 


Talk about Rehtaeh (and Amanda, and CJ, and Nicole).

Talk about ‘appropriate behaviour’ and ‘slut shaming’.

Talk about teenage drinking.

Talk about mistakes.

Talk about ‘No’ and ‘drunk’ means NO!  Period!

Talk about bullying.

Talk about, as a parent, loving unconditionally.

TALK about suicide. Don’t sweep it under the rug.

Just … talk.  Please.

And hug your kids.

And take the time to remember.

 The boys and I.
The boys and I.

Remembering and respecting Rehtaeh in our own small way.


** Pictures of Rehtaeh posted with permission.