The Rape of Rehtaeh Parsons

Most of what you are about to read was written months ago. Some of it by me and some of it by a person who I will not name for legal reasons. This information came forward following the death of my daughter and it is the main reason her case was reopened. As much as possible I’m not going to elaborate on it. I will leave out names, other than Rehtaeh’s, and information that could cause her mother or our family distress.

I truly hope you read this with an open mind and just try to forget everything you know or think you know about this case. When you’re finished you can conclude for yourself if you believe my daughter was telling the truth when she told the police she was raped.

Before I go into the details that came out after her death I want to start by adding what I recall of the days prior to her going to a sleepover in Eastern Passage in November 2011.

It was the Wednesday before and Rehtaeh was sitting in my car in front of her house. She lived with her mom in Cole Harbour. School was going well and she was making new friends. She mentioned to me she was going to spend a night in Eastern Passage at a friends house. This was a new friend and like any father I had some questions – did she trust her friend? Would her friend watch out for her? Usual father stuff that made me think of my dad’s questions to me many years ago.

I’ll never forget the following week. I was sitting on a plane at Halifax’s International Airport waiting to fly home to visit my mother in Ottawa when Rehtaeh’s text messages starting coming in. She begged me for help. Begged me to let her move in with me in Halifax. She couldn’t say why. The plane began to move on the tarmac. I told her I’d call as soon as I could.

Why she sent those messages I learned from her mom once I was back in Halifax. Rehtaeh had been raped.

So here is what happened to my daughter that November night in Eastern Passage. This account is partly hers. The parts she doesn’t remember are attributed to a first hand witness. Someone who was there, in the house, and saw everything.

When the weekend came Rehtaeh headed to Eastern Passage for the sleepover. Her girlfriend suggested they visit some people she knew, two teenage boys, who lived close by and also went to their high school. They walked over and hung out with them for a bit when two other boys arrived. Someone got their hands on some alcohol, a bottle of vodka. They passed it around and Rehtaeh drank some.

As anyone can attest, people her age are a poor judge of how much they can drink and it wasn’t long before the intoxicating effects took over. Rehtaeh thinks she had nine shots. Much of the night is a blur. She remembers drinking, two of the boys walking her upstairs, hanging out a window getting sick, being naked. She remembers saying no. She recalled them taking turns on top of her.

She doesn’t remember much else. Small details, segments here and there. Nothing in a second bedroom except waking there the next morning. The rest of what happened that night was revealed a year and a half later, right after she died. It came in a series of messages over Facebook to Rehtaeh’s mother, Leah. It was there for a few moments, then the account it came from was deleted. Thankfully Leah had the foresight to screen capture it and call the police.

By the time Rehtaeh started to vomit she had already been stripped of most of her clothes. Two of the boys, the older ones, had walked her to an upstairs bedroom and removed her pants. When it appeared she was going to get sick they hung her out a window so she wouldn’t make a mess in the room. (Rehtaeh had recalled to us that she had banged her head on the windowsill as they pushed her out to vomit.)

She was sick for five minutes before the boys debated who was going to go first. The older one took his turn while she threw up. Then the second boy went ahead and told the older one to take a picture using his cell phone.

Rae, still vomiting and hurting from banging her head, recalled a flash going off. She also recalled one of the boys saying “Stick it in her ass” before the photo was taken. The boy raping Rehtaeh posed and gave a thumbs up. The photo was taken like it was a typical Facebook photo, just some kids having fun. They gave no thought at all to her. Thumbs up.

She would be haunted by that photograph and what it meant until her last breath.

Once the two boys were done they carried her over and laid her on the bed to sleep.

At one point during the assault the girlfriend who came with her appeared at the door and got angry at Rae. Both of the boys in the room were ex-boyfriends. It was, to her, a betrayal. She left and returned later with her mother and they tried to get Rehtaeh to leave with them but given her state that didn’t happen (Rehtaeh never recalled her friend showing up in the bedroom). So the girl and her mother left.

Left her there alone, passed out, in a house with four teenage boys. Two of whom had already raped her while she threw up. No one called her parents.

It was now getting late and Rehtaeh needed to be moved to a spare bedroom so the two older boys had the two younger ones help them carry her. She woke up briefly and punched one of them in the face. Once in the other room one of the boys asked the others to leave the room. When he emerged 20 minutes later it was with a smirk on his face.

The other boy, the one in the photo, had a curfew and had to leave. He said his goodbyes and went home. The next day he called and was told that the two others who were there and helped carry Rehtaeh to the spare room had sex with her as well. Four of them did that night. Two while she was throwing up sick and twowhile she was attempting to sleep in the second bedroom. She recalled none of the assaults in the second bedroom.

Those are the details that came forward after her death. I don’t understand how anyone can read that account and think this was consensual sex. Or that it’s a case of regret. Or that my daughter was a “slut” and only came up with the rape story after the photo was passed around. After the photo was circulated, she had a complete nervous breakdown…not a regret.

Rehtaeh woke up the next morning between the younger boys. One of them was feeling her breasts. She asked for a cigarette, they talked for bit, and she took a bus home. She had very little recollection of what had happened to her. She told her mom later something was wrong in her pants. She also showed her mother bruises on her hip and on her wrists.

Up until that night Rehtaeh had been intimate with only one boy. She told her mother everything, including that. I guess that really doesn’t account for anything.

What counts for me at this point is setting the record straight the best I can. I wasn’t there. I know that’s what people will think.

But most of the details you’ve just read came from someone who was there.

So I want to set the record straight by publishing a portion of his version. The version that was sent to Rehtaeh’s mom after her death.

It started with messages on Facebook. Pleas for understanding and a chance to explain. Leah refused to answer. She told him if her had anything to say he could say it on Facebook to her inbox. So he did.

He told her everything he knew. He said Rehtaeh seemed fine with everything. He stated she gave permission even when she was throwing up and that she was willing even though they had to carry her around and dress her when they were finished. He said he didn’t want to live with the title rapist and that it was the most hurtful thing he could imagine. He said he was sorry, and that he cried when he found out Rehtaeh had died.

He said he regrets giving a thumbs up and smiling as the photo was taken. But, he says, “..I cannot lie to you and say we all did not rape her, I can tell you for sure that I did not rape her…”

He said that picture ruined his life.

It ended my daughter’s.

193 thoughts on “The Rape of Rehtaeh Parsons

  1. I never doubted for a second that Rehtaeh was raped. This happens all too often but it breaks my heart that your little girl paid the ultimate price. It should never have come anywhere close to that and for anyone to believe anything other than the fact Rehtaeh was raped needs to really think about things. They are part of the problem and therefore I fear we will never have a solution. I truly hope with all of my heart that you find a form of peace sometime in the future and that no one ever forgets Rehtaeh.

    1. Thank you for everything you’ve shared about your daughter, Rehtaeh. I never doubted her story. It’s not about alcohol. It’s about power & control. Rehtaeh was not to blame in any way. She was with friends. A mother was even present at one point. We promote the buddy system as parents. No one protected Rehtaeh. No one called her parents who would have helped her in a heartbeat or these little savages would have been incarcerated. Your innocent daughter would have been protected from further assaults.

      I will keep you in my thoughts. I pray that you will find some peace, & have the strength to carry on with your lives. What you do now could well bring more awareness to crimes of rape. You will be saving someone else’s life; I’m sure of it. As a parent I would be sickened that my child would treat another human being like this. To take advantage of her condition, which could easily have been further encouraged by these opportunists, shows what kind of young men they are. If I had any power at all I’d make him look at the faces of those who have been injured by his behaviour, to hear what has become of their lives, if they have any left, as a result of his actions….that he bragged about, swaggered about. To each parent of each boy/man responsible……what is your reaction? What steps have you or will you take to deal with your son, to make him accountable for his actions? Do you believe that he did it? No? Well, I wouldn’t want to believe it either….so there’s one reason why victims of this horrible crime hesitate to come forward. They will be called sluts, liars, got what they deserved, my boy wouldn’t do it, they were ALL drinking so that makes it less of a crime (don’t forget, though, it’s about power & control)…the victim’s life will be in ruins, their reputations forever tarnished unless the criminals are caught & punished….To Rehtaeh’s mom, dad & family….people around the world are behind you 100%. Rehtaeh will never be forgotten.

    2. typical of these people. want all the benefits but no responsibility. people are/should be getting pretty darn tired of this.

  2. This was hard for me to read. I am going to come clean – this exact scenario happened to me at 17. My first serious boyfriend found out about it (it happened 2 years before I began dating him) and he beat me up because of it. Thus began 2 years of abuse, and my young self stayed because I was so devastated by the sexual assault. I believed I deserved it. Now I am trying to tame the vengeance in me. I know it was never okay, and I never asked for it.

    1. Emme if this had happen why didn’t you go to the police about the abuse and beating that is a criminal offence if you want advice there is lots of it out there just ask for it

      1. Hi a friendly voice, it’s too late now. It’s well over a decade since the sexual assault. I was up against the misogynistic rape culture too. I was afraid that nobody would believe me, and I confided in the boyfriend thinking he would support me, but he didn’t. In the end I just wanted to forget it and went to therapy instead, but I did go to the police about the abuse.

          1. Please stop with the victim blaming. You are contributing to the problem. It´s not her fault if he does it to someone else. That is ALL on him.

        1. Emme, I was gang raped 40 years ago, I never went to the police either. Things haven’t changed much in 40 years, victims are still blamed. I just thank history that FB and “smart” phones weren’t around 40 years ago or I may have taken the same road as Rehtaeh. I certainly thought about it many times over the years, and I am sentenced to live with “the event” for the rest of my life. Rapists should also get a life sentence.

        2. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Don’t blame yourself. You’re absolutely correct in your understanding, not only in defining the misogynistic culture but how others respond and judge. Why didn’t you? Because you will be re-victimised. Friendly voice needs to change his or her name.

        3. Emme you can take him to court and Sue him for every penny he has. Rape is raped and he should pay for it if not in prison but all his money should go to you.

        4. Emme, I too was sexually assaulted by 4 guys when I was 14 years old, I was a virgin before that night too and I also did not report it because I knew I would be blamed somehow, I had a drink only one and blacked out for 18 hours and woke up naked in my car in a park, another reason I didn’t report it was one of the guys from that night, his dad was a cop so I was terrified and never told anyone till 5 years after it happened!!

      2. She didn’t report it to the police for a couple of reasons, I would imagine. 1) who would believe her after she admitted to drinking? and 2) EVERYBODY would find out about it!
        In my case it was 2 guys that I knew most of my life and trusted completely. I was 15 years old at the time and stupidly played a drinking game with them that ended up with me passed out & them taking advantage of the situation. I am 43 years old now & to this day I have only told this story to a very few but it stays with me always.

      3. A Friendly Voice…you ask why someone did not go to the Police?… Look what happened in this case…Did you happen to notice?

      4. Your own question should show you the answer. She does not deserve to be judged. You don’t have that right. That’s far from being a friendly voice. People who think that way are not the kind you’d go to with any kind of problem.

      5. The something similar happened to me when I was 15. My boyfriend at 17 said it happened because I was a whore and he abused me for3 years. Sometimes its not that easy to report things that are going on. Especially if you come from a broken home, have no where to go and not to mention when you do finally report it..the cops let him go. Its an endless cycle because guys think they can get away with it(a lot do).

      6. It’s not always easy for someone who is being battered and abused to go to the police. Sometimes there is a question of a) Am I going to be believed? b) What did “I” do to deserve this?

        The police, in a lot of cases, blame the victim after they have gone through the procedures of going to an emergency room for the rape kit test; making it look like it’s your fault because you shouldn’t have been out alone so late at night; it’s your fault because of the way you were dressed (even if it’s shorts & a T-shirt – and I’m not talking about these “short shorts or Daisy Duke shorts” either). You shouldn’t have been drinking, well, I’m sorry, but most (not all) teens go through an experimental stage, where they will try alcohol or drugs.

        Unless you can prove, without doubt, that you have been raped, there is always someone who will not believe and blame the victim.

        As much as I believe in forgiveness etc., I hope the judge (and/or Jury) throw the book at these two and make an example of them. As for the one who contacted Rehteah’s mother, I hope you will testify against the others. Unfortunately, this picture of you with your thumbs up gesture should also be made an example of.

        RIP Rehteah, you will not be forgotten.

      7. Women have completely valid reasons for not involving the police

        “If a woman chooses to use the justice system to redress the crime that has befallen her, she had better be prepared to absolutely have no human dignity at all when it’s over. You better be prepared that everything you screwed, licked, ate, puked, shat, for the last 25 years is now fair game.”

        Unless you’ve yourself gone through reporting and court proceedings with a sexual assault case – don’t tell another woman what she should do. I have, and I would never ever tell another assault victim that the courts provide any kind of healing. There’s all sorts of ways we can approach healing. Reporting, the investigation, court is pretty much another assault for most of us.

    2. Hey, Emme. I’m terribly sorry to hear what happened and I completely understand the situation. I can only sincerely hope that your life gets better throughout the years. You deserve only the best. Thank you for your story. I’m sure it resonates with many in your position. I wish you and every other woman in situations of abuse the best of luck. It’s never too late to try and get out of the situation but it is a difficult road but it can only lead to great things

  3. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. What she went through was tragic, and must be horrible as a parent knowing what happened to her. The aftermath as well…
    I want to send my deepest condolences…while they may not bring your sweet, beautiful girl back…know that her story will live on. I will watch my daughter as she grows…even more so than I had planned. Of course, nothing you could have done differently would have prevented it.
    I will make sure she knows the dangers…thanks to your daughter’s will to overcome it, and you and her mother for telling her story. I will also make sure she passes Rehtaeh’s story on to her peers when the time comes.
    Justice for your precious baby! I’m sorry for rambling…I do hope this makes sense.
    Love, light, and blessings to you and family in these trying times.

  4. these boys are disgusting. and to think it happened again after her friend and ANOTHER MOTHER were there and left her alone with 4 teenage boys! they shouldn’t be able to sleep at night either! they own a share of the blame too. that boys apology is about as empty and self-serving as it could possibly be. ruined his life? i hoping it tortures him for a long and unhappy life

    1. I am in total shock at the fact that her so called “friend” walked in and left her there because she was mad it was her ex-boyfriends and thinking this poor girl was doing this on her own free will…she should also be ashamed as well as her mother. What kind of a mother leaves a girl knowing the kind of state she was in….if she didn’t know about the sexual assault she knew she had been drinking she seen the state that she was in…if she didn’t want to take her home the very least she could have done was call her parents…as for that friend SHAME ON YOU! Those boys did something horrible to that girl, so bad that in the end she felt there was no other way to deal with the situation…there isn’t anything that I could say or do t o change what happened to her…We are supposed to be civilized people, but when you see/hear of something like this happening you have to question what kind of people we really are…I am Catholic, I don’t go to church, but I pray all the time…I think she is in a better place, at least she is at peace…I just hope we don’t let her down a second time!!!

      1. The horrific rape notwithstanding, I too am appalled at the fact that an adult was at some point in that room and witnessed the vulnerable condition Raetaeh was in – and did absolutely nothing. An apparent half- hearted attempt to get her to leave didn’t work, so she left! Raetaeh was 15 years old! That woman had a legal responsibility to contact Raetaeh’s mother or the police. I hope she’s feeling the shame she should.

      2. Absolutely unbelievable that a so called “PARENT” was in a room and witnessed a girl passed out, drunk, incoherent, babbling or whatever the hell and turned and left her there!! I don’t care if she had of been hitting me with a tire iron me being a mother I would have dragged her out and called her parents. I don’t care if people like this or not but her “friend” was pissed off because they were her ex’s and her mother went along with it! Are you kidding me! Wowwww some friend. I realize it is easy to sit back and play the blame game cause in all reality it makes us feel better to give blame but this whole story is heart wrenching. Regardless of what first transpired in the room there should have been no picture taken. There was no thought of her what so ever but in todays society I don’t find it surprising. Sad but true. Then to move her to another room and leave her there like she was garbage makes me almost vomit. I hope the boy who came out and smirked remembers this for the rest of his life. The damage you did to a girl that was irreversible and in the end cost her her life. I hope your proud. I am sorry if this is offensive but I cannot help it. I am sickened to the core.

  5. Rape! For me this is a multiple rape. Shame on them! Shame on him for accusing the other boys without taking accountability for his own actions. It ruined his life?!!? Is he kidding us? At least he still have a life , Rehtaeh doesn’t! He ruined his own life and hers.
    Glen, I truly hope that one day your family and you will find some peace. But honestly said, I don’t know how someone can find peace without having justice. So if there is someone out there who has the power to do a difference, to make some justice, Act, SPEAK UP and DO IT. Rehtaeh and her parents deserve no less: Justice and peace.

    1. And you’re an ignorant asshole Jimmy…go hang out with your buddies the 4 rapists and troll bitch Christie Blatchford-theyre all full of shit like you!!

    2. You ignorant bitch. Did you miss the point of the entire post? Forget that it WAS rape, if it wasn’t they still shared child pornography, which is what they’re being charged for. And who the fuck are you to call her a slut, her body her decisions, although in this case it clearly wasn’t!
      Forget all of that, why the fuck would you call someone’s dead daughter that?! One who was raped and humiliate.

    3. You are a disgusting pig Jimmy! Someone needs to beat the snot out if you! You probably said what you said because you knew you get this kind if reaction you sick f$#k!!

    4. Jimmy it is the scum of the earth like yourself that propels this evil, you should be criminally charged for that comment, devil creep.

    5. You’re an asshole!! Obviously don’t have children , let alone a daughter ! Have a heart !! Oh wait you don’t have one !!

    6. There is a fine line between freedom of speech and blatant heartless cruelty. You seem to be as bad as the questionable males that took advantage of a situation. Their behavior was untenable & your comments are unforgivable. Grow up and act like a human being with compassion. I hope someday that you have a daughter & you remember what you wrote on this father’s page. I am ashamed of you as a human being. It’s 2013 and words have power.

    7. Aren’t you nice to say that about Rehtaeh, a young girl in so much pain she could only think of ending the Hell that her life had become? You must be the nicest person to have posted on this blog. I hope that you never have a daughter who has to suffer what this beautiful young girl suffered through.If you do, perhaps you will then know not to hide behind a computer screen like a coward. Because I always post things under my own name. And I don’t post anything that I wouldn’t want my mother, my future wife, my friends and my boss see on line. So if they see this, they will know I, unlike you Jimmy, am not a coward who attempts to shame a dead girl with nasty and hateful words. I hope you learn how to be a good human being, because if not, you will burn for eternity in Hell. You just better help Rehtaeh comes down from heaven to give you a drink of cold water. I’d let you suffer.

    8. You will rot in hell for saying that !!! You are talking about someone’s Daughter that is Dead because of what was done to her !!! You are Satan’s Spawn !! It sounds like you might be on of those guys that Girls like Rehtaeh should watch out for !!! You scum-bag !!!

    9. Hey, fucktard Jimmy! Why don’t you visit me in AZ? I have a .357 magnum and a hollow-point w/ your name on it, you fucking fuck!

    10. Hey jimmy I want to make you my slut you piece of shit. I hunt rapists like you trust me scumbag you keep your mouth shut or ill come close it for you asshole.

    11. You piece of human garbage I hunt pigs like you and those piece of shit rapist kids. How the fuck are these pieces of shit walking around? We need to rethink the whole legal system for christs sake we live in canada. Are we as a people going to have to be responsible for our safety and justice? We need to start an organization that deals with these types of obvious injustice created by the people and watches over the people.

  6. I second that – no one should be resting who still has something they can do to make justice for Rehtaeh. No one should rest who can do something for any child, woman, or man who has been raped or sexually assaulted. If you have failed to act in some way for this case, stand up now. Learn your lesson. And share it with others.

    1. I am so sorry for what has happened to your daughter,there are no words to say to make it better,The Punks (the only clean words I can say on here) that did this Its time to grow a set and admit what happened to that young girl,admit me that you all tortured and raped this young girl for what??? what was it for do you feel like MEN! no your a bunch of punks who took advantage of a situation and thought you would have some fun something to brag about with your buddies,Well I hope and pray each and everyone of you are caught and sentenced to a prison where you all are chosen as someones little bitch,and none of you see the outside of that prison.Also to the young lady and the MOTHER that supposedly went to the house to take her out of there what the hell where you thinking,would you have done anything if it had been your daughter???
      To the Family and True Friends of this Beautiful Young Lady I hope that you all can find some way to move on and know that Justice will prevail for your Beautiful Daughter and Friend.
      My Thoughts and Prayers are with you. I do not know what I would do if it had been my daughter,well actually that isn’t true I know what I would have liked to do.
      I am so sorry

      PS Some one needs to stand up and come forward with what you know happened in that house that night!!

  7. Disgusting little redneck f**ks, I hope they are tortured night and day with thoughts of their actions if they have any consciences at all!! Glen my wife and I are so sorry you, krista, Leah, Jason and all your family have had the loss of your beautiful daughter Rehtaeh, our deepest condolences go out to you all..

  8. As a mother of a 4 year old girl this is so hard to read. At Rehtaeh’s age I did the Mae thing and don’t know how I would deal if that happened to me. Please know her memory will never be forgotten and she is in a place now where she will never be hurt again. Bless all your family and I pray you are able to find some closure after these bastards are locked away. If they did it once how many other girls have they raped and took advantage of.

  9. My daughter is still alive, but suffers every day from a similar situation. I fear for her constantly. It has been six years, but she has never been the same. Fathers feel particularly bad, since they believed that they could protect their girls. I could not, and it haunts me.

    1. Vin,

      Being a supportive and loving father is the most important thing, which you clearly are. You would be horrified to know how often that’s not the case. I’m sure your support means everything in the world to her.

  10. Thank you for sharing this – I am so very sorry for the devastating loss of your daughter and that no one came forward to help her until it was too late. The system has failed her and I only wish there was some way to fix that.

  11. I was…gang raped at 16. I never had relations before. after it was over my mom said it was my fault. my dress was too short, I was asking for it. I hated my mother after that, for many years. that act turned me into a different person, unrecognizable to me. I was used, dirtied, and left alone to pick up the pieces of me….this process has taken me 16 years so far.when something so very awful occurs, it doesn’t fade away, it lingers on forever. knowing the rapists who got me were in for 3 years and have been out 13, I am scared everyday that they will find me….

    1. You didn’t deserve this. You have so much courage to live the best you know how, and to speak out now and share what you have shared. Thank you for honouring us with your story. Back in the day everyone would have said the same thing, thought the same thing….it was how you dressed, walked, talked, but it has nothing to do with that as we all need to know now. It’s simply power & control issues. How big and powerful do these boys/men need to be to talk advantage of someone who was unable to stand, to fight back, to say no and be respected. Respect for another human being is the farthest thing from the minds of misogynists. They get off on overpowering vulnerable children, girls, women. They need to be brought to justice somehow, some time…I hope they are tortured every second of their lives, that they always wonder if the next knock on the door is the police….to question them about historical violence & rape.

  12. I can promise you that my children will grow up knowing Rehteah’s name and her story, and the dangers of this world. I can also promise you that I will not be the only person who will do this.

    Glen and Leah, I hope you can find some form of peace from this nightmare of a tragedy.

    In my heart I feel your beloved daughter is somewhere – in peace – with angels who are not judging her like her peers did.

  13. Thank you for speaking up for your beautiful & cherished Rehtaeh, as deeply painful as it must be. I hope, for you and your family, it is in some very small way cathartic.

    I follow the facebook page that’s dedicated to her. I pray she has peace now & that you and your family can also find some peace through much overdue justice.

    I, like so many others, cannot understand how today’s society can choose to blame the victim – especially our youth. We need to have open dialogue in our schools about the heinous crime of rape, on whom the shame & punishment squarely belong, and compassion and understanding for the victim & their family.

    We need some kind of program in our schools. In health class, during sex education, this needs to be a serious & necessary part of our youth’s education.

    I know I’m not saying anything you haven’t thought of many times before. I pray that you, your family and the other families that have suffered as their daughters’ rapes are systematically dismissed & the rapists protected, find justice and change now! I most certainly will do my part to advocate for our beautiful Rehtaehs. I promise!

  14. I came to Canada (Halifax) as a doctor specializing in Anesthesia full of hope and expectations. But after a terrorizing sexual assault by a Saudi colleague training here with me and after I went to the police, reported it to the local authorities as well as the Saudi Bureau here in Halifax the response was that my funding, as well as my position/ medical scholarship were all terminated.

    I was kicked out of my career and left with nothing. Want to take a guess what happened to him?

    Nothing happened to him.

    This is the price I have to pay for being born a Saudi woman who has no rights. This is the price of belonging to a misogynistic culture. Where women are punished for the crimes of men. This is the price we women have to pay here in the land of the free which victim blames first, second and third. The price for a crappy police system that is incapable of dealing with (another assault case).

    The Saudi man/ Doctor who assaulted me suffered no repercussions. Not to mention that he not only got to finish his training but he went back to Saudi to practice and live like a king because the Canadian police literally dropped my case due to negligence on their part. The hospital staff supported him. Meanwhile I was asked to submit to multiple psychiatric evaluations while he became the department star. I was labelled a (trouble maker), people stopped talking to me, avoided me…yeah…it was so unreal…

    I hesitated in reporting the assault because I was afraid I would be blamed…and I was. I was blamed, shamed, guilted, made to suffer and punished by 2 different systems including the healthcare one. The psychiatrist I saw, a woman, kept asking me over and over “Did you lead him on?”

    I paid in so many ways for being victimized but most of all I paid with my career. Rehtaeh paid with her life.

    My assault was in 2004. I have done everything you can imagine to fight and get justice but I never knew justice was this hard to get. I have also tried to forget and let it go and (live with it) as many people suggested but the case has resurrected itself from the dead 10 years later.

    In February 2013 he (the man who assaulted me) re-entered Canada and I got a phone call from the crown prosecutor asking me if I wanted to proceed with my case against him and lay charges…I said yes.

    He was arrested, charged and then let go as no trail had ever happened and he had never really been convicted before.

    Our hearing dates have finally been set. He has pleaded not guilty and thus it is a waiting game.

    I am not turning this into a story about me. I am adding to the support and the oh so many other rape/assault stories on here.

    We are not all crazy women who make shit up BTW. We should rise up against this ongoing issue. Change must be made…victims must be heard and believed. Blaming and shaming the victim remains the first response to many of these cases (especially those where there is a he said/she said)

    Rise up people….enough is enough

    Rehtaeh is in a better place.

      1. Don’t be my dear. I am, for the most part OK. The sad part is this court case coming up is going to be a joke. I can tell you already what the outcome of it will be. As I am sure you can tell too. Justice sadly….does not always prevail.

        1. Iman:There is no loonger a JUSTICE System—only a legal one—run by people who let their desires come before the law.Just the way ut us, and I’m so very sorry for all these girls,caught in this trap!!!

    1. Thank you for sharing this- it is important that all the people here who have been responding “Well, why didn’t you report your assault?” understand why we women rarely do- more often than not it seems like reporting it would be writing our own sentence for punishment.
      Women don’t report it because if we do, so often we turn into social pariahs, get called “liar,” “slut,” “alcoholic,” etc. and, in your instance, lose the career you’ve worked hard for.

      Education about rape and sensitivity training towards it is important and should be a mandatory part of all police training- enough is enough with blaming the victim- she already has enough to deal with.

    2. Dear Iman,
      I am sorry. Sorry to hear how you were treated by your colleagues, by the police and those from your culture. All should have protected you and all failed. All women are of value and it is time that all cultures realize this, educate women and support women. We are not chattel.
      Take care. Stand strong. Have faith.

      1. Thank you. I have moved on. I am creating change in my own way. I have 2 sons who I am in total love with and teach them every day how to respect all forms of life and to be good humans. Kind to others. Humanitarians who strive to improve our world. Children people…teach them will. They are our future.

    3. Iman,

      I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you, but I want to thank you for writing it. Canadians often look to other areas of the world and are disgusted by the treatment of women. Clearly we need to turn our eyes on our own country. Some countries may be more dangerous for women, but their beliefs are essentially the same. Men can’t help themselves. Women lead them on. It’s the same poisonous attitude that infects societies across the globe and makes them dangerous for all women.

      I hope you find justice. I also hope that you have found love and support from others to support rather than accuse you. I hope that you never again hear someone utter those five horrible words to you, although there still seems to be so many that hold these destructive beliefs.

      Good luck and take care.

      1. Tk you for telling your story Glen and the story of your daughter. It breaks my heart and I never had a doubt she was telling the truth. All 4 boys should be punished and as for the mother who showed up. Where was her conscience? As a mom I would have done everything in my power to get her out of there. And contacted the boys parents and the police the same night. Iman, thank you for telling your story its such heart break. I was raped in my apartment and my daughter was in the next room. I didn’t make a sound so that she wouldn’t be hurt. I have blocked it out of my head for 10 years and the guy I have no idea where he is and don’t care. I am now married to a wonderful guy and know that the other scum is just that scum and karma will bite him…Hugs to Glen,Krista,Leah,Jason and also Iman… As for the scum who name called that’s all you are is scum…

  15. Reading this felt like having my heart torn out. Glen, I cannot even begin to comprehend what you and your family has gone and continues to go through. What has been done to your family and your daughter has broken my heart and brought back the terrible memory of my own victimization with child pornography by teenaged peers more than 25 years ago.

    I was not assaulted but the vicious and gleeful cruelty my “fellow” students in junior high took in tormenting me with a very illegal photograph and their relentless harassment drove me to the point I tried to take my life. I was only 13. This was well before the age of cellphones and social media, didn’t involve sexual assault and I still nearly died from what was done to me. To this day I suffer from depression and other anxiety disorders.

    I cannot imagine what girls go through when this involves rape as well, let alone sociopaths like Christie Blachford who would capitalize on the pain and death of a child and her family and the all the inhuman monsters online that see this as an opportunity to entertain themselves by tormenting people in severe pain, let alone all the victim blaming and presumptions made by people in the community and online, especially when a case gets national or even international media attention. Throw in the broken (in)justice system that continues the violation and damage done and it is no wonder so many children are dying.

    The way you have spoken out out against what happened to your daughter has helped me confront what happened to me and finally begin the process of healing. Seeing how much worse your daughter and other victims like Amanda Todd have suffered has also helped me put my own situation in perspective, too. I cannot express my gratitude for this strongly enough. I hope all of us that have come out in support of you and your family is helping you all through this. I know it can’t take away the pain but I hope it has helped you bear it.

    Best regards and deepest sympathies,


  16. This is heartbreaking disturbing …you and I both knowcharges would have been laid immediately had your daughter been the child of any one of those officers …perhaps there is an answer there as to why the police were so lax on pursuing this … my heart goes out to you this must be an extremely difficult time for you and Reanna’s mother

  17. This just goes to show you what this worlds like,our justice system is a complete joke they should be thrown in jail for years and years to live with what they have done, he cries saying he cant live with the title rapist, guess what bud thats what you are now live with it the only tears he sheds is tears or regret that he has been caught. Im soo sorry for the family of this girl i cannot imagine how you feel. It makes me sick;jistice must be done in this case or ppl are going to think this is ok to do when its not its sick and twisted maby them boys should be casterated… See how much they throw their thumbs up for that. Again my thoughts and prayers go out to the mother and father of this girl i hope time will help you guys heal indefenility but as memories are created they will always stay with you. Thank you

  18. I am so saddened hearing aboutt happened to Rehtaeh. It fills me with rage towards the boys. It also makes me frightened about being a woman in a culture where we are viewed as playthings. She is gone but did not die in vain. Her story will change the world and make it a better place for girls. God bless.

  19. This is so common…..for all my life I’ve lived with the same assualt—-16 yrs old, drank too much, passed /blacked out and had 3 guys on me – so I’m told. I do have a flashback of a guy(my angel,I still call him that) pull two guys off of me. They were my so called friends…..not!!! The Friend was the one who pulled them of me and kicked them out of the room while he helped me pull myself together and found me a safe drive home…..that was 41 yrs ago. I still love this man for his courage and this town hasn’t forgot….and it’s still my fault. Even my own Mother blamed me—when I worked up the courage to tell her. Thank God there was no social media….the police wouldn’t have layed charges…..Question – for ALL – Who would you want to be the Parent of…the young girl having a black out (16 yr old) or the sober guys who lined up outside the door fo “action” (they were young too-18/19yrs old)??? I walked in shame for the last year in High School…praying not to be pregnant,,,,,Oh and nursing a black eye that my boyfriend smashed me with, when he heard…..they were his friends………………………………….

  20. I feel rage and sorrow each and every time I read about Rehtaeh, my husband worries I feel too much, but it can’t be helped. As the mother of a young daughter, as the mother of a son, as a FUCKING PERSON who can’t grab hold of how no one acted, how so many were involved and yet so few will ever be held accountable, how law enforcement failed, how ANY and ALL adults with any knowledge no matter how cursory stood by, how people will now think ‘oh how awful to label these boys’ … even typing I can feel it welling up and it is evil and it will stay with me. How four boys could have so little empathy, so little idea of consent … I have rage for their parents. I don’t know how to let go of this story. I don’t know how Rehtaeh’s parents will recover. But I wish you every chance at that. She is in your thoughts, you are in mine.

  21. I remember all too well how I put myself in these situations as a teenage girl. This type of event happened to me a few times where I could have had the same thing happen (being raped) by “friends”. At that age I just couldn’t foresee what could take place. As an adult I have turned into a what if person?

    I remember staying silent at least twice because I was embarrassed but for some odd reason after one particular incident I went to school and blabbed what almost happened which embarrassed those 2 boys. We weren’t really friends after that.

  22. all I can say is “I am Sorry” society has so desperately failed. When I read the words that the “suspects” had not even been interviewed, I was stunned.

    this makes no sense at all.


  23. Glenn,
    I cannot imagine you having to write this. The point I am getting here is that if someone in that house that night knew they were raping a young girl, they are just as much at fault as the person performing the action. For you to feel that you have to relive this ordeal is another sad state. So, with this information, why are there only two charges laid and those being, child porn? Frankly It makes me want to vomit. The way I see it, everyone in that house was guilty, including the mother of the friend that Rehtaeh went with. This was planned and had to be discussed between the boys at some point. Justice still needs to be done, I am so sorry that your Family has to keep reliving this night. I don’t care what anyone says, having sex with someone who is intoxicated even if they are not vomiting is rape, let alone what went on here! That girl and her mother are just as much to blame as you entrusted your daughter to them that horrible night. 1… That girl never should have left without Rehtaeh. 2… The boy that said he did not rape Rehtaeh, should have stopped them or called someone, he is just as much to blame. 3. When the mother and friend returned to the house, something should have been done then. And this not even touching on the fact that minors had access to alcohol.
    The boy that wrote the letter to Leah, was only concerned about his own ass or he would have written the letter before Rehtaeh’s passing. Another thing that makes me want to vomit myself is the fact that, here again, the victim’s name is all too well known and not one of the rapists. To hell with the young offenders act, the committed and adult crime and posed for pictures to boot. They were obviously proud of their actions that night. This cannot be over!

    1. What about the parents who let the kids in the house with alcohol ?? They should be guilty of negligence!!! Where were they ??? They should be held accountable as well!! Obviously they haven’t been around enough to teach their kids right from wrong!! How can the parents live with themselves???

  24. Just when you think you live somewhere ‘this sort of thing’ doesn’t happen, you are reminded to wake the f*ck up and remember that rape culture can happen anywhere. Rehtaeh’s parents are stronger than most in the way they’ve handled this RCMP failure of epic proportions. How those four boys weren’t hauled in and questioned the moment word of this rape got out, is beyond me. Had that happened, who knows how this would have turned out differently. I hope that an investigation results in firing of all RCMP who were responsible for failing this young woman, this Canadian, this Maritimer, this daughter … our daughter. If I hear one ‘we’re not going to lay blame, we’re just going to learn from this’ during/after the investigation, I will add my voice to the public outcry once again, that the justice system in Nova Scotia failed this young woman, and is responsible for her death.

  25. Dear Glen,
    Take heart in knowing that not once have I heard any person ever say or even suggest that your daughter was a slut. Quite the contrary, everyone I have talked to, and in every conversation I have overheard, your daughter is clearly thought of as a victim. A victim of four immoral boys, a victim of the police, a victim of the schools, a victim of the prosecutors, a victim of our culture.
    I wish for you and your family to turn this tragedy into something meaningful. Rehtaeh’s story is so powerful. Teenage drinking is prevalent and destructive; I say this and I drank to access in my teens. I think pre-teens could benefit from hearing about your daughter’s story and how alcohol can destroy their lives. I also think a scholarship in Rehtaeh’s name to a deserving young police officer, a deserving young lawyer and a deserving young youth counsellor would be appropriate.
    You are probably too soon into your journey of pain to think about anything like this but if you do, when you do, I will be in touch and lend my support.
    Today I cried a tear for Rehtaeh, all the girls that came before her and all the girls that come after her.

  26. I am very sorry about what happened to your daughter. As the mother of 3 sons, I always told my boys NO MEANS NO!! Not maybe, Not later, But NO!!!!!
    I am sorry.
    I followed her story, & I am glad some justice was done.
    I am not sure why rape was not a charge, but I do not make the law.
    We have to pray that these boys, grow a conscience and live there lives
    protecting women for this terrible thing that they did.
    I am Sorry!

  27. This is so messed up. Everything about what happened that night is wrong. Why don’t people realize that the way we treat rape victims is ridiculous? Okay, I realize that a lot of people do realize this, but so many don’t. I just don’t get it. What is wrong with people? Even if they’re raised in a rape culture, they should know better! I mean, in their hearts and minds, regardless of the rape culture they’re raised in, they should KNOW that hurting someone is wrong. When I was raped – and this happened twice as an adult – I was so used to rape culture, that I wasn’t even sure what had happened to me. Was it rape? I seriously didn’t understand that it was for many, many years. Popular culture teaches us that rape is defined in a very narrow way – it’s the big, bad stranger who leaps out at you from an alleyway at night. Anything else isn’t rape. It can’t be a friend, etc. This narrow viewpoint is re-enforced by questions such as, “So you invited him in?” or “So he was your date?”, etc.

    We’re also taught that there’s only one way to react to rape. If you don’t freak out and scream your head off, apparently it’s not rape. Never mind that some people freeze out of fear, or are so scared they don’t know how to react. This stupid viewpoint is re-enforced with questions like “Well, did you scream?”. In the case of your beautiful daughter, I’ve heard people say things about how it couldn’t be rape because she didn’t react like it was rape. What?!?!?! That is beyond ridiculous. There is no correct way to react.

    Can you all imagine if we treated other crimes the way we treat rape victims? “Well, what did you expect? Of course your house got broken into!! It’s painted that bright pink!!! You house was asking for it!” “Did you scream when he robbed you? No? Oh, well, he must have not really robbed you then”. Nobody would accept that, so why do we accept the way we treat rape victims?

    I cannot imagine what it is like to have a child, and lose them, especially under such terrible circumstances. I am so sorry for the loss of such a beautiful girl. Because from everything I’ve read, she was a really good, sweet person, full of kindness.

  28. I am totally and utterly disgusted with this. It sounds to me as though the young man who is filling in the blanks for this story is scared shitless and is trying to make himself look better by throwing his friends under the bus!!! Please! She gave consent to him but the others raped her!! Bullshit!!! Listen even if she gave consent..she wasn’t in a state to give that consent!!! If a person is throwing up out a window, barely able to move gives consent to sex…only a sleaze ball would go through with it!! She was in no way able make that decision!! Parents teach your boys some manors and respect for women!!! I’ll tell you right now, I have 2 boys and as much as I would be there for them through this, it would be hard for me!! It’s our jobs as parents to instill strong values and morals in our children!! They knew full well what they were doing was wrong, they just didn’t care!! Until now!! Because they are in trouble!! I feel for the families involved…but stop shielding these boys…it’s time that they realize what they did was wrong from the moment it started to happen!! These young men have to be held accountable!!! Rape isn’t just what we have seen on tv…in my eyes consent or no consent…if you are not of right mind you are not of mind to give consent!!! our youth need to start being held accountable instead of parents believing that their little angel could do such a thing!!

  29. Glen,

    Thanks so much for writing this. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it was to type out those words. It is absolutely inexcusable what happened to your daughter, but I am so glad that so many people know her name. There is obviously still an incredible amount of work to be done and so many people to be re-educated about consent and sexual assault, but I do feel that more people are paying attention to these issues, and a change is on its way. I’m so sorry that that change didn’t come before that night. Your daughter deserved so much better.

  30. Since reading this, I cannot help feeling that this was a set-up. Just reading this leads me to believe that these boys had a plan right from the beginning. As you pint out, the girl that went to the house with Rehtaeh had dated two of the boys previously. This was not really a party, it was a get together with Rae, her friend and four boys. Rae’s “friend” knew these guys.
    To add to this, as a Mother of a Daughter and Son, if I would have walked into someone’s house and saw a friend of my Daughter in a house, alone, with four boys, I would not have left without doing something, whether it be contacting her Parents, pulling rank and making her leave with me, again call her Parents. If Rehtaeh was spending the night at that girls house, being a minor, that Mother was responsible for her. There are still too many unanswered questions. Right from the get go, is that picture not proof enough? What kind of evidence do these cops need? As I understand, it is the older boy that posed for this picture, proud as punch…thumbs up! Is this not the boy who is now old enough and no longer a minor? Why can I not shake the feeling that his family is well to do and quite prominent in the community? Why do I get the feeling, ( his letter to Leah intensifies this), that he has never had any real consequences for anything in his life and though that crying the blues after Rehtaeh’s death would help him. Too many things sound and feel ” fishy” in Halifax!

    1. Susan I could not agree with you more!!!! I said that very thing at the beginning…the families of these boys must be prominent in the community and the mother of her “friend” should not have left and done nothing. A lot of questions still remain. Something is definitely “fishy”.

      1. Susan and Lisa,
        I also much agree with all you have said…sadly, I am so naïve, I did not consider the “set up” aspect. Now that I consider it, it seems rather obvious.

        All the folks commenting (and the families) have tiptoed around, tying to be so careful, “because there is a police investigation” “don’t want to unjustly imply things” etc.

        When I read that the Police had NOT even interviewed suspects until most recently, “WORDS FAIL ME”…

        Not very long ago (few weeks?) I read a news article on Cole Harbour, on how they had yet one more young man signed up for pro hockey. there was much waxing poetic, on how he might be even better than Crosby…

        There was a summing up line in the news article something to the effect…”Cole Harbour sure nows how to produce ……..” (the last word was hockey players or pro, something like that, but maybe it should be… rapists.

        There is so much wrong with justice which has NOT been carried out, or even attempted for this girl, there MUST be a reason…. So, what is it? Is there a chance this (rape) (set up of young women/girls)(sexual abuse) is so common in this town, that if any authority truly investigates there won’t be enough lawyers in the province to defend the criminals? Is it so common, most families have one or two rapists living in their homes? Is it so common most homes have someone who committed rape “along the way”? “Is rape so common it’s act is used as “initiation”?

  31. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter and what she had to go through. It just sickens me that she had to go through that and that not one person would come forward and tell the truth until it was too late!!!! I don’t believe for a second that they thought she gave consent!!!!! They took advantage of her and then had to come up with an excuse to not get into trouble!! I too would like to know how many girls they have done this too before they did it to Rehtaeh and since then as well. By them getting away with this then to me it’s giving them permission to keep doing so. I just wonder how many girls and their families will have to suffer from actions like this before the justice system actually does something!!!!! I believe the police did what they could with the information they had,which is exactly these people should have come forward before anything happened and this could have been avoided!!!!! The boy who contacted Leah and said he was sorry after,why could you not have said you were sorry before??? I guess you thought you should try and tell your side of the story in case they decided that they would charge you with murder??? Because if it were up to me the 4 of you would be charged with rape,murder and child porn and anything else I could charge you with. This so called “friend” and her mother who came and then just left her there…REALLY?????? What is wrong with you!!!!! I hope you realize too that you are both just as much to blame!!!!! You ALL disgust me!!!!!!! I have been following this story from the very first and I never doubted for a minute that Rehtaeh was telling the truth. It is no surprise to me to see people on here admitting it happened to them and never reported it…why would they??? And to whoever Jimmy is you are a disgusting,ignorant pig that fits right in with the likes of the 4 boys!!!! I hope you NEVER have a daughter that goes through something like that and I pray you NEVER have a son as he would turn out like those 4 boys,and that is scary we don’t need anymore boys or men like that in this world. How can you call her a terrible name like that??? Do you think you’re funny?? Cause you aren’t!!!!!

    To Glen,Leah and your families I am so very sorry that you are having to go through all of this. I pray for you all every day and that some day you will be able to find some sort of peace. I know that Rehtaeh is with God in Heaven and she is happy and whole and is watching over you all.

  32. I took this case very much to heart but on the other side…as the mother of two sons. Sons I truly believe I didn’t have to go out of my way and talk to about the sexual assault of women or what to do when confronted with an intoxicated female but I did anyway. I don’t let my kids sleepover anywhere, that is my protective nature… I just don’t see the need. That being said, lots of kids – particularly girls – seem to want to sleepover I remember doing it a lot as a teen. I just think this girl’s story is important to impart lessons to boys even more so than girls. The truth is boys are not always like this – I got intoxicated as a teen around boys and wasn’t assaulted… the truth is that these boys are deviants – they have no morals or even conscience. Who raised them?? Caligula?? This isn’t ‘something boys do’…it is something sociopathic sickos do with no empathy. When I spoke to my teenage son about this case, about consent etc… he responded quite with the same attitude as me. This is not normal. Of course you want consent. OF course you don’t penetrate someone violently puking out a window… if you are reading this thumbs up guy… you are a sick fuck and regardless of whether the cops go after you or not… you need to go ask a psychiatrist what part of your brain made that decision for you and see how you can fix it.

    My second rant is at that mother of the girls friend. You had a kid over for a sleepover and you left her in another house?? I am always told that if kids drink at my house they are under my care and I will be held responsible somehow if something bad happens. This woman – and I hope you are reading this too – is a waste of space. You suck at parenting – grow up and be a grownup not your daughter’s best friend. Think and get real… you really thought the kid drank a bottle of vodka (she is not without her own bad decisions) and was able to consent to group sex?? You should look in the mirror and tell yourself that you made a decision that day MOM to walk away from a rape attack on an underage girl in your care. YOU EVEN COULD HAVE JUST CALLED HER PARENTS. UNBELIEVABLY STUPID. You too may need to speak to someone.

    Anyway – sleepovers are not necessary unless you know the people very well etc…
    – Talk to your kids about sex and consent – boys and girls
    – Talk to your kids about what it means to be intoxicated
    – Know what your kids are doing – all the time – yes it takes some effort to raise them does anyone put in the effort anymore??

    Teach them empathy for others while they are growing up. This alone would end any stories of bullying and assault. I see alot of parents tied up in their own lives – you are tasked to raise that child first. do it.

    1. Very well stated, Mumofboys. I am the mother of two girls and my husband and I both have the same philosophies as you. I can’t imagine the pain that Rehtaeh suffered and the ongoing pain her family will have to work to move beyond. If there can be no justice for Rehtaeh against the parties involved, the boys, the so-called “friend”, the friend’s mother, then I hope that it eats them for the rest of their lives. I hope they live in fear having to look over their shoulders for the rest of their lives.

  33. I am so sorry for what your beautiful daughter and your families. The more I hear about what Rehtaeh went through, the more my heart breaks for her. No one should have to go through what she did. It’s disgusting and I have absolutely no mercy for those “boys”. They do not deserve it neither does her “friend” who left her there. I can’t imagine leaving a young girl alone in a house with four boys, apparently her friend’s mother was an idiot as well. They all should be charged, everyone who shared the picture should be arrested as well.

    Rehtaeh will be remembered in my home as well as the Parsons family. I admire your courage and strength in your time of sorrow. Many would have buckled under the grief but Leah and you have helped share Rehtaeh with the world and hopefully help others. I wish she could have been here to see how many people would have supported her and that justice may finally happen. RIP Rehtaeh <3

  34. I feel like Iam going to Vomit , god speed Rehtaeh and good bless her family . Gonna go stop at my sons house today and hug my 6 year old granddaughter…..

  35. First of all I am so sorry for your loss ,I know from experence that the hurt of a death of a child never goes away but Hopefully someday these people even the women will be charged as they did nothing to help this poor girl and the boys who raped her should be charged with rape so Rehtaeh can get the justice she deserves Rip sweet girl Xo..

  36. something which I have heard discussed/queried/questioned…..

    now that we have heard from the RCMP that no one has been officially questioned regards this crime until recently.
    now that we have heard that only two individuals have been questioned/charged
    now that we have heard they will get minor sentence in youth confinement IF found guilty of a two or three weeks
    now that we have NOT seen more serious charges
    now that we have NOT seen more charged

    now we wonder if these two have been offered something to take the minor charges to try and take the heat off of (someone) (the town) (the police) ??????????????????

  37. I think that the person who “was there” and is providing an eye-witness account cannot be fully trusted for the absolute truth. I am certain it is sanitized to protect his ass but I think insofar as it backs up Rehtaeh’s account or of the evidence, it is invaluable. It’s too bad that he doesn’t want to be labeled a rapist for the rest of his life — Rehtaeh is labeled dead. He in indeed a rapist – one who tried to come clean to save his own ass. Why can’t people simply do what’s right? Have none any character?

    1. The unfortunate thing as has been pointed out so often on this site, rape does not end with the physical act. It continues with the emotional rape by sick bastards. In 1982 I had a similar experience while living in a small town. The lengths this creep went to make my life hell were disgusting. Sicko played head games on everyone he could in that town, and as a new business owner, with a large house he attracted quite a following of suckers to his “set” . Eventually he went too far, no one would do business with him or speak with him and he was forced to leave town. That these things can happen is evidence of a very sick culture. There can have been no possibility of informed consent from an intoxicated teenage girl.
      And what was her “friends” mother thinking of to have allowed them to go out with more awareness of what was going on? For most of one year my sons friends came to my home Friday afternoon, and stayed until Sunday. They hung out, played video games made messes and ate pizza, but at no time did I leave the house, and at no time did they leave with having my cell phone with my son, with my explicit understanding of where they were going, what they were doing, (usually Blockbuster) or when they would be back.All of their parents had met my son, but not ONE of them called me or suggested we meet.
      Where was this “friend” when your daughter was being abused? In another part of the house…doing what?
      Evidentily that revolting little puke is feeling hugely guilty for his actions- and so he should. He did nothing to stop what came next.

      I am deeply sorry for your loss, for your daughters torment, for the lack of justice, for the pain you have suffered from all of these betrayals.

      I tell you truthfully, that if ever I hear something disparaging of your daughter said in my presence it will give me great pleasure to slap their foul mouths.
      And I add regretfully, that I have seen on other sites that there are psychopaths who deliberately post hugely antisocial comments, often late at night presumably to stir things up with their vileness.. I am sorry too that you have had to endure that as well Glen.
      I am a stranger to you, but not your ordeal. Please accept loving regards and appreciation from one parent to another for the very fine family you are.

    2. The unfortunate thing as has been pointed out so often on this site, rape does not end with the physical act. It continues with the emotional rape by vile bastards.
      In 1982 I had a similar experience while living in a small town. The lengths this creep went to make my life hell were disgusting. He played head games on everyone he could in that town, and as a new business owner, with a large house and a cosmopolitan air, he attracted quite a following of suckers to his “set” . Eventually he went too far, no one would do business with him or speak with him and he was forced to leave town. That these things can happen is evidence of a very unwell culture. There can have been no possibility of informed consent from an intoxicated teenage girl.
      And what was her “friends” mother thinking of to have allowed them to go out with more awareness of what was going on? For most of one year my sons friends came to my home Friday afternoon, and stayed until Sunday. They hung out, played video games made messes and ate pizza, but at no time did I leave the house, and at no time did they leave without having my cell phone with my son, with my explicit understanding of where they were going, what they were doing, (usually Blockbuster) or when they would be back.All of their parents had met my son, but not ONE of them called me or suggested we meet. I did this because I wanted them to have a safe place to have know where they and my son were. It was a lot of work, and the fastest way to clear the house when “home time” came was to mention dishes and cleanup. I regret not one minute of it.
      Where was this ‘girlfriend” when your daughter was being abused? In another part of the house…doing what?

      Evidentily that revolting little puke is feeling hugely guilty for his actions- and so he should. He did nothing to stop what came next.

      I am deeply sorry for your loss, for your daughters torment, for the lack of justice, for the pain you have suffered from all of these betrayals.

      I tell you truthfully, that if ever I hear something disparaging of your daughter said in my presence it will give me great pleasure to address the matter.
      And I add regretfully, that I have seen on other sites that there are psychopaths who deliberately post hugely antisocial comments, often late at night presumably to stir things up with their vileness.. I am sorry too that you have had to endure that as well Glen.
      I am a stranger to you, but not your ordeal. Please accept loving regards and appreciation from one parent to another for the very fine family you are.

  38. I don’t understand how that mother left her there.
    This happens so often… even if that woman thought Rehtaeh was being a “bad girl” and promiscuous, or wtfever… she clearly was an inexperienced drinker, and quite ill. Many young women, especially slim ones like your daughter, vastly over estimate their tolerance (and no I am not blaming her! I’m going elsewhere). Even if those boys were stand up heroes, the kind of guys who put a pillow under a girl and a blanket over her and guard her from other predatory assholes, they didn’t have the knowledge to recognize and deal with alcohol intoxication. Rehtaeh could have died from the alcohol alone (usually it’s not from alcohol poisoning as much as choking while vomiting while passed out :-(). Why did that woman not realize she needed a HOSPITAL or at least her parents? Who leaves a bunch of teen alone when they’re drunk and clearly have no supervision? Why did she not call the cops? Is this acceptable behaviour for kids there? What the hell? was she implying that since Rehtaeh was a “slut” she deserved to die? I just… god. A couple months ago my daughter called from a party where a friend of a friend was clearly very messed up and not very conscious. The guys with this girl creeped her out. I asked her if she wanted to bring the girl to our house (her parents were out of town) and she did. So her dad and I went to get her, her dad informed the other kids we’d be taking the girl with us, and we left. And we watched and cared for her and made sure she wasn’t going to need medical attention. And she thanked us profuseley in the morning. Imagine if only that mother had made a similar choice? 🙁 And worse, what if I hadn’t?

  39. It is now time for the YOA to be totally scrapped. Your MP should be receiving letters to push the government to make the change to the effect that when a person does an adult crime they will be tried in an adult court with no hiding the names AND the record stands. If the PM is truly behind his words when this came to light, he will agree.
    Studies have show that teens are maturing at a faster rate than ever before, both mentally and physically. The mental part involves recognition of actions and consequences of those actions. As such they should be made more responsible and be held accountable for their actions. Should these pukes ever be convicted, they will suffer no lasting records as once they have reached the age of majority, ALL records are then removed leaving them free to do the same thing again, and according to studies they will, and they can plead that it was the first time and again get off.
    I, for one, want to know the names of YO’s that I may safeguard myself and family from similar actions from those named. Only then can we, as a society, truly say we have justice for Rehtaeh.

  40. The one who told you what did happen to Rehtaeh should turn him self in to the police and other young men who rape her. and they should tell it to the courts. And be forced to register as SEX OFFENDERS. The mother of the other girl should charged for not helping Rehtaeh and not reporting this to the police.

  41. Those boys are pure scum,and I would say also are the girlfriend and her mother. Are these the men of the future? If they are, I prefer that humankind comes to an end. I wish these boys have a shitty and short life.

  42. I have no doubt that Rehtaeh was raped. She was intoxicated. Under US law that alone make it rape. I would imagine the same holds true in Canada. The boys should be charged as adults. I’m also sickened by what those orderlies did to her in the treatment facility. That was clearly detrimental to Rehtaeh’s health and wellbeing. They should also be held accountable. Only then will Rahtaeh and family have justice. Preys be with you.

  43. I think everyone is missing a really important point here – there are parents and there are children under 18 and until children reach 18 they are just that – CHILDREN. Parents are responsible for their children – no ifs, ands or buts. If you don’t intend to look out for your children until they are 18 then don’t have any!!!! There are a lot of things wrong with this story and many others. If parents were doing the job they have been entrusted with when they chose to bring children into the world then none of these tragedys would be happening. If young boys and young girls were home where they should have been, or in a safe place at properly supervised activities then there would be no problems and a 15 year old girl would not have been raped, or a 13 year old girl in Saskatchewan would not have been killed in a car accident, or a young boy would not have drowned in Ingonish, or 2 young boys would not have been killed by a snake. Choldren today are given too much freedom to act and make decisions that they should not be making. All decisions should be made by their parents on their behalf. Choldren should not be running around at all hours of the night with things at their disposal that they do not have the maturity or experience or common sense to deal with. Cars, money, booze, smartphones, I-Pads, drugs — these are all things that do not belong in the life of a child for good reasons – mainly because they can’t handle them. That’s why they have parents – and in this day and age parents are falling down on their jobs. Their main responsibility in life should be the welfare and care and CONTROL of their children, because children under 18 do not have the maturity to handle life on their own – and that is proven in the headlines in the media every day. Children should not and cannot be TRUSTED to make the right decisions when it comes to their welfare. Parents need to set their priorities – family and God first, not “their careers” or “social life” or “trying to keep up with the Joneses”. Parents need to “step up” and take on their primary responsibility – the welfare of their children, NOTHING else is more important. They need to understand that being a parent means knowing where your child is and what they are doing EVERY minute of every day until they are an adult. And anyone under 18 is NOT adult, no matter how much they protest and claim to be able to “look after themselves”- this theory that youth have is proven wrong every minute of every day. The youth of today are woefully inept at life skills, and the parents of today are becoming more and more inept at controlling and protecting their children. I see it every day, at social events, at the malls, in restaurants, at public events, on the streets – children of all ages are being left free to roam around, inappropriately dressed, covered with tatoos and body piercings, turning the air blue with their foul language, listening to disgusting gross music, disrespecting their elders and the property of others. They all can tell you everything about the lives of brats like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, but ask them about God and they haven’t a clue, because most of them have never been taken to church by their parents. I am a grandmother who brought up my children myself, I did not entrust their care to daycares or babysitters or summercamps or nannys or “friends”. I knew who their friends were and who their friends shouldn’t be – I knew where they were at all times and who they were with, I drove them everywhere and picked them up – they were home with their parents EVERY school night and on week-end nights they had a curfew which was strictly enforced. When they were out there were “unannounced spot checks” to make certain that they were where they were supposed to be, with the people they were supposed to be with. They were taken to church on Sunday where they learned spirituality and respect. They were taught to respect all elders at all times. Their teachers were instructed to contact me at any times with any concerns and had my full support. My children knew that they would not get away with anything – that there would be consequences if they did not behave. They were taught that life is not easy, and that you have to work hard and earn your rewards – a good life is not handed to you on a platter (unless you’re a Prince or Princess). But they also were rewarded handsomely for all their achievements, were taken on wonderful trips and vacations, were dressed well, fed well, housed well and treated well at all times. In their home they were not exposed to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, foul language, gross behavior or human disrespect. They were exposed to love, safety, caring, self-sacrifice, God, education, etc. Today they are wonderful caring adults that we are very proud of. We put them first and foremost in our lives and they know and appreciate that. We kept them safe from all harm, including themselves, because children left to their own devices will be their own worst enemies. We made a conscious decision to have them, and we made a conscious decision to love and protect them above all else, no matter what we had to sacrifice ourselves. Anything LESS than such a commitment by a parent is totally irresponsible and unacceptable. When my first child was born my mother told me “life as you know it is over” and from now on its “not about you, its all about your family”, and I never forgot that. I quote a song lyric “Today I’m going to try and change the world”. That my friends is what we should all commit to doing, because there is a lot drastically wrong with todays families, and the children are paying the price. If we don’t stop the insanity now then GOD HELP THE NEXT GENERATION!!!

    1. Wow! Aren’t you just the perfect parent and grand parent. Would be interesting to know what planet you live on.

      1. I live on planet earth and I was not the perfect parent, I was just what ALL parents are SUPPOSED to be – RESPONSIBLE for the safety & well-being of my children. I put myself 2nd and them 1st. That is not being perfect, that is doing what you are supposed to do. God does not expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to do the absolute best we can to love, nurture and protect the children he has gifted upon us. You can’t bring children into the world and then decide to look after them only when its convenient for you, or when it fits into your schedule. You have to look after them every hour of every day until they are adults – thats your job, thats your responsibility – not anyone elses. You have to be in control, not your child – not their friends – not your friend, not your neighbour, not your cousin, YOU the parents have to be in control at all times. Sadly a lot of parents today do not take their responsibilities seriously, and when tragedy strikes they look for somewhere to place the blame when clearly if they had been doing their job their children would not have been in jeopardy. Wake up parents – once you bring children into this world it no longer is about you – it is all about your children. The burden of keeping them out of harms way rests squarely on your shoulders, and if something happens to them while you were shirking your responsibilities then you have no one else to blame but yourself.

        1. You obviously lived a privileged life then. Someone paid your bills so you, and YOU alone could be the perfect parent. Good for you. NOW, back in the real world here, some mothers work, or go to school. Some marriages fail and some never began. Some kids are more curious then others and will push boundaries and rules. Some parents believe they have laid the right ground work for the kids to make good choices (even the best kids make poor choices from time to time. and I betcha YOURS did too, you probably didn’t know.) and some parents believe that our kids aren’t prisoners, but rather are PEOPLE who need to have SOME measure of freedom in order to form their personalities and become good and decent adults.

          Every choice I make in every moment of every day I make based on what I feel is best for my family. Sometimes I made the wrong choice, a bad career move, or the wrong dentist. I’ve even had the unfortunate situation where I hand delivered a VERY intoxicated 17 yr old home to his parents. I didn’t blame THEM! Their son was where he said he would be, with the people he said he would be with. His parents dropped him off there, and spoke to the other parents. Our kids however didn’t tell us that a basket ball game in the park behind the house they were at involved alcohol. Why did they do it? cause they are kids. That doesn’t make US bad parents. That’s life.

          Hope down off your high horse before you FALL off. Church and god don’t make you a good parent. SORRY! Parents don’t get off that easy. God isn’t going to raise my kids! ha! I am. And my kids are going to make mistakes. The difference is, mine will talk to me about them and learn from them. Yours most likely hid from you and probably still do!

    2. I do not understand the very casual envolvement of a parent during a sleepover with a child she did not know.I do not understand how four boys managed to get drunk, underage, and without supervision. cannot fathom why any mother would leave a child in such a risky position- and I know that I have helped strangers children out of such spots and followed through.
      I can see how trouble could happen- any parent could…But that is the point. The assigned responsible parent did not follow through and contributed to death through neglect. Does she still have her daughter living with her…..
      It is unacceptable by any sensible person.

    3. You’ve got to be joking right? You can’t possibly think that “God” will save the kids of today. Some of the worst people I went to high school with were the god kids. They were just as entitled, judgmental and hormonal as the rest.
      How disgustingly judgemental of you to imply that athiests can’t raise children who are ethical and moral.

    4. Victim blaming and saying that any of these victims should have been at home under constant parental supervision is the exact opposite of how we should be thinking. Instead of trying to “correct” the behaviour of the victim, we need to correct the behaviour of the person committing the crime. For example, if I was to steal your smart phone because you accidentally left it in a public place, does that make it your fault? NO. The victim of a crime should never be made to feel blame, and posting comments like this perpetuate the idea that a victim can “ask for it.” Please, stop spreading your helicopter parenting rhetoric, and realize that Rae shouldn’t have had to be under her parent’s supervision that night… she should have been able to go to that friend’s house without fear of assault or attack. The victim is never to blame.

  44. Where were the adults during all of this?

    1) If your underage child is going to spend the night with a “new’ friend, don’t you at least call to make sure everything is okay?

    2) If you have sons in your house who are having friends over, do you not check up on them once in awhile to ensure they are not drinking, using dope, whatever?

    3) If you are a mother who picks up her own daughter and sees this stuff going on, are you not going to bang on the door of the adults and insist something be done about all of this or get the girl’s number and call her parents? These were/are underage kids. They were not off at one of the camps kids have in the woods. They were in a private home.

    Where does the responsibility of adults come into this? If it can be proved that these boys did rape this child, yes there should be harsh consequences. However, we have to sit up and take note that ADULTS should be controlling, as much as possible, who their children hang out with and where they go. Adults should be checking up on groups of kids in their home. We cannot turn all of this responsibility over to minors.

      1. wonder if you read my text about having my house full of kids because, downtown mother that I am they could go out into their prefrererd environment, for a bit, but I damn well kept on top of them
        Here was a hole load of shit going on. Drunk boys with no thought to anything but their dicks, parents who should have been at a boy drunk, a sleepover parent who should have been RESPONSIBLE!!! And a dead girl because the scumsucking world they put her in damaged her further-beyond what she could bear. I believe in her parents and that is where the buck stops with me.
        I dont know what to say to could anyone presume to know your pain, loss…I cried a lot today for the kids I have helped and for your loss.
        Perhaps the other people whose this forum is important to could come together and support the sexual assault centre with an endowment in your daughters name.
        My thoughts are with you

  45. Reading this makes me weep, because I know how it can happen to any of us. I am lucky that so far I have never suffered from such attacks, but it’s closer to home then I can imagine. Just when I can think that I live in a culture that would not tolerate this, I’m reminded it can happen anywhere, it’s sickening. My prayers with you and your daughter, and I hope this story and your bravery in coming out with it will educate the public that NO means NO, and rape is truly an unforgivable crime.

  46. I have heard people who commit serious crimes like this, seldom do a “one of”.

    I wonder when other victims will come forward?

  47. As the mother of 2 girls just entering their teenage years, I just want to thank you for sharing your story. I have made sure my daughters know Rehteah’s story. Your pain is saving other girls by arming them with knowledge. Thank you.

  48. Teenagers drink .I did when I was one and mine did too . Luckily I or my kids did not find ourselves in that situation .That girl did not deserve to be raped by those so called human beings regardless . They and their parents should be ashamed that they were even capable of doing this to that girl whether she was drunk or not . To do that and then take pictures and spread them around says what kind of punks they are . Nothing will come out of this .It’s just news now .People want to know their names and what they look like . I don’t care who they are or where they live . I know about as much about them as I want to .They are pigs as far as I’m concerned .There are people being charged everyday with distributing child porn …. And of course they were young offenders so you know what that means . NOTHING . They took advantage of her because she was drunk then sent pictures to their friends to brag about what they did .Rehteah was so ashamed she took her own life and now her family will never see her live her life .Let the poor girl rest in peace because nothing any judge could give them would be as bad as what Rehteah went through .There is no justice for Rehteah .For God sake mothers out there teach your sons to respect girls . A lot of people from what I have read should be ashamed that they didn’t help her and there is only one judge for all of us and someday they will face him .

  49. This is sooo sad, God Bless Raehtah again, and your family, the mother and daughter who left her there should be charged as well…what sick, sick people, to think she wanted to be there…and the girl, jealous because the two were old b/fs, my GOD, y would she take them there, just because of that reason….it’s like she wanted this to happen to your daughter…they are as sick as those pigs who did this to her….may she Rest in Peace…I hope they all have rotten lives from here on out…

  50. That the mother of the person who brought Rehtaeh to the home where this rape occurred arrived and then left her with the perpetrators of this heinous act is despicable, disgraceful and disgusting and she too should be charged – aiding and abetting. I find it deplorable that the very people charged with protecting Rehtaeh, the police, would rather take the word of the perpetrators than to believe the word of the victim and acknowledge that rape actually occurred. The injustice system at work. I do want to thank you, Mr Canning being a caring dad and posting the facts in this blog; you are a good dad.

  51. this makes me sooo sad, they all should be charged, and convicted, including the mother and daughter, what in the name of GOD did the daughter even bring her there for, and then both leaving her there, makes me want to vomit….hope they all have a rotten life…and may Raetah RIP, God Bless your family…

  52. First of all Glen I want to express my condolences to you and your whole family for everything you have had to endure all this time. I can’t imagine having to go through what you’ve all gone through and are still going through. When I first learned of the arrests of 2 of the teens involved I was happy that justice finally would be given to you, Rehtaeh and your family and then that turned to utter disgust that they would not be charged with sexual assault due to insufficient evidence. What do the police and prosecutors consider sufficient evidence for rape anyway? I would say that her statement plus a picture of the boys engaging in the assault (which is practically a smoking gun in my mind) should be enough to pursue such charges. The fact that no sexual assault charges will be filed sends a message to other youths that this is ok. “Go ahead, and do it if you get the chance because you won’t get in trouble for it.” What I fear will be the result of this is that youths in the future won’t just wait for the opportunity for a girl to be drunk on alcohol but will more and more make use of “date rape” drugs. We’re sending the entirely wrong message to our youth that women are objects to be used.

  53. This was not a rape.
    This was a terrible tragedy. It was greasy behaviour without a doubt. This is something young people should learn from but it was not a rape. Young people getting drunk and engaging in sex is not rape. It’s just not. If she was passed out it would have been rape but by all accounts I’ve read (most importantly her friends and friends mothers) she was very much awake. Her friend tried to talk her out of having sex, they argued. She left and got her mother for the sole purpose of getting rehtaeh to leave , again a conflict ensued with rehtaeh refusing to leave. All you people on here spreading hate and making false rape claims should be ashamed. You all “wished” that someone who was there would come forward. HELLO!?! They did come forward. You just ignored the truth because it did not jive with your pro rape stance. Despite what this Avalon centre says drunken sex is not rape, it never will be. The attempt to redefine rape to including drunken, conscious and consensual sex (although regrettable in some cases) is a slap in the face to women who were raped. Getting drunk doesn’t absolve you of your decision making in the eyes of the law. Look at drunk drivers, what if they claimed they never “consented” to driving cause they were drunk therefore all charges should be dropped? Get out of here all you numb skulls. Allow me to repeat, this was a terrible tragedy that involved some tasteless sex but it was not a crime. The photos however are of course
    Ps nobody actually thinks anything bad about rehtaeh. Everyone feels bad about what happened so stop getting suckered in by obvious trolls

    1. Avalon never said drunken sex is rape. Sex without consent is rape. And that is what happened.

    2. Sven there is a huge difference between drinking and making the conscious decision to get behind the wheel of a car and “consenting” to have sex while intoxicated. Read up on Canada’s criminal code which defines consensual sex and you will see that first of all a person under 18 cannot consent and second of all a person who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs (including so-called “date rape” drugs) cannot consent to sex. Get your facts straight Sven.

    3. “Ps nobody actually thinks anything bad about rehtaeh. Everyone feels bad about what happened so stop getting suckered in by obvious trolls” are you kidding me? Clearly you have not read the accounts of the other young people involved, or any of the other online blog articles regarding this awful awful tragedy. There are “grownups” who has written awful things about Retaeh online. I have read them! Retaehs mother has posted them on her FB page. There are a lot of people against Retaeh so maybe you should do more research before stating these so called “facts”. Also look RAPE up in the dictionary maybe? being drunk does not give anyone consent to have sex! I hope you do not have any sons…

    4. A victim does not have to be unconscious for it to be rape. If you can’t walk or dress yourself, as was clearly admitted in the claims of the accused, sexual consent cannot be given and anyone taking advantage of you is committing sexual assault. The police never said that rape did not occur only that they don’t believe they have enough evidence to secure a likely conviction. The case on that is not technically closed.

      There is a huge difference between a person who has drunk to the point of impaired memory and one who clearly cannot walk or dress herself. Lumping them together, as many people do nowadays as you have, promotes sexual assault and misses that alcohol is the number one drug used to facilitate rape. That they sought to destroy this girl in a very public manner well after they sobered up and even taunted Retheah’s friends about her and even stabbed one and pepper-sprayed them in a 6 (them) on 3 (her friends) confrontation. They posted a picture on social media posing for the camera with the pepperspray afterwards. The kind of people they are is very clear as was their intentions that night.

      What happened before she became that intoxicated is also inconsequential. Once a person cannot say no or stop (which there is reason to believe that she did) consent cannot be given. also, comparing this to drunk driving is a false equivalency and not relevant.

  54. I cannot eve begin to describe how heart breaking this was to read, how heartbreaking every single article about your daughter is really. Like so many other commenters on this entry, I took was a victim of rape as a teenager.
    I don’t need to go into details, except to say that I too was at a gathering where I trusted the friends I was with, I too had a friend in the next room who wrote off what was happening when she witnessed it, and I too went to the police to have them ignore me and tell me that it would be impossible to prove despite a rape kit that showed a positive result for GHB and my statement clearly naming one of the two boys that I woke up next too. First and last name. I even managed to direct that police officer to the house it occurred at despite having only been there once on that horrible night and it being in a part of the city I didn’t live.
    That was 12 years ago now, on the otherside of the country. Up until your daughters death I had very much wanted to niavily think that some how the treatment I received from the RCMP was exclusive to my case, that someone how other women and girls who tried to do the right thing by reporting the crime were bel

  55. I cannot eve begin to describe how heart breaking this was to read, how heartbreaking every single article about your daughter is really. Like so many other commenters on this entry, I took was a victim of rape as a teenager.
    I don’t need to go into details, except to say that I too was at a gathering where I trusted the friends I was with, I too had a friend in the next room who wrote off what was happening when she witnessed it, and I too went to the police to have them ignore me and tell me that it would be impossible to prove despite a rape kit that showed a positive result for GHB and my statement clearly naming one of the two boys that I woke up next too. First and last name. I even managed to direct that police officer to the house it occurred at despite having only been there once on that horrible night and it being in a part of the city I didn’t live.
    That was 12 years ago now, on the otherside of the country. Up until your daughters death I had very much wanted to niavily think that some how the treatment I received from the RCMP was exclusive to my case, that someone how other women and girls who tried to do the right thing by reporting the crime were belelieved and that justice was found in some of those cases.
    This is clearly not the case.
    How can we expect people to report one of the most heinous crimes of all, when time and time again we see the police taking the stance that there can be no charges because its her word against his?
    The RCMP across the country should be beyond ashamed of how many victims they have failed.
    Thank you for having the courage to share your families story with us.

  56. There will come a time when these boys will have families of their own, possibly daughters. My hope, as awful as it is, is that one day they will look into the eyes of their daughters and see your daughter, Rehteah staring back at them. My hope is that as they grow into men that they will begin to fell and understand just what they stole from her.

    Glen, as I read this, my stomach turned and tears flowed. Those boys stripped her not of her clothes, but of her humanity. They took something no one has the right to take from anyone. I want to scream at and shake the officers who first handled this case. Those 4 boys were guilty then, the evidence, I am certain, was there for them. The INACTION of the police basically raped her all over again. And then again she was raped by peers who shamed her instead of shielding her.

    My heart is broken. I hope that you know that those who have disbelieved or questioned Her story are those who are too fearful to accept that it is true. I have never doubted for a moment that she was raped. Anyone who does is either a defendant of those boys, or a fool.

    I wish you love and light in your life. I hope that you will someday feel some sense of peace. I hope that you know sharing this story WILL save a life. Someone’s daughter somewhere will be saved because she or her parents know what happened here.

    You are brave.

  57. I too have been impatiently waiting for rape? sexual assault? or whatever the law wants to call it, charges to be made. My God, if the justice system has the evidence, knowledge, pictures to lay the charges of making and distributing child pornography, in my mind, there is more than enough evidence for additional charges to be made, not only to the 4 boys that committed the crime, but should involve the supposedly friend, her mother, as well as the owners of this house. Everyone involved in this crime should have to suffer some consequences for their actions, or no taken preventative actions. I am the mother of 2 boys (now men) and they were brought up knowing that there were severe consequences for their actions. It is called RESPECT for another human being. And during their teenage years, I was their worst enemy at times that were very minor in respect to something like this crime. It is way past due for parents to step up to the plate and take back discipline, control and responsibility for their kids. I commend you Glen, Leah for your honesty, straightforwardness to let everyone know the true facts. I just wish Rehtaeh was still with us so she could realize the amount of support she had. To everyone involved in the crime, you put her through hell for 2 years, I hope and pray that your hell is just beginning and will stay with you for the rest of your lives. I honestly don’t know how you can live with yourselves.

  58. If having sex with someone under the influence of alcohol is rape than over 95% of our population should be jailed. Remember when you and your wife went to a wedding , drank wine and did it missionary style when u got home? You raped your wife! Your wife raped you! And before you say the obvious dumb thing, no the fact that 2 people are married does not mean you can’t rape each other in the eyes of the law.

    1. There’s a difference. Under the influence of alcohol is not the same as intoxicated to the point you’re actually sick and no longer able to be in control. Once that point is reached the ability to consent to sex is no longer present.

      1. Susan, up above, brought up the assessment that to her this looks like a set up. I had not previously considered this. But, now, it seems quite plausible…..

        If it was a setup, did this “friend” who invited her to sleep over, and then enticed her into “going over” to some boy’s house….sounds even “worse”, more of a setup.

        I have wondered all along, if alcohol was just the factor, or was something “more” slipped to her?

        Now I wonder, had this “friend” made plans with the “boys”? —- Get her over to friend’s house, maybe give her a few drinks, (or something), suggest the trip to the boys house?

        Now I wonder, had the “friend” set up other girls, for the boys?

        Now I wonder if this might be “routine”?

        Re the alcohol, and consent…— when one’s judgment is impaired by alcohol or drugs, one cannot give consent. Absolutely not.

  59. “…she was willing even though they had to carry her around and dress her when they were finished.” Ummmm, yeah, that sounds pretty consensual and willing. I studied criminology/psychology and this distorted/twisted logic is what rapists use, always. This disgusts me, saddens, enrages me. I am so sorry this happened.

  60. Knowing what happened to your daughter breaks my heart! I remember being a teenager, doing not so smart things, thankfully nothing bad happened to me, but it could easily have. It does not matter how good a parent you are, your kids are going to test the waters everyone on here saying “where were the parents” must not have kids or they lock them up at night! Wtf! Who are you to judge! Anyway what I came here to say…I’m sorry for what happened to your daughter and for what you now have to deal with. As the mother of 2 beautiful little boys,I promise, with my husbands help to raise them to be gentlemen and to know how to treat Girls/ women…with respect! When they are old enough to understand they will be told of this story and others like they know its not okay!

  61. I am still stunned at what the RCMP seem to consider appropriate charges. Stunned.

    As time goes on, and after reading Mr. Canning’s essay on her rape, a thought has finally crystalized in my mind, why I feel such blinding rage most times when I read about this in the news.

    From the start, persons in power, persons getting new laws enacted, police, just about all those who should have been responsible, have referred to this crime in terms which will slowly ease the population into a different category (aka just teens fooling around)…

    Phrases which come to mind such as
    “make a law banning the distribution of private intimate moments”

    There was nothing private about this crime.
    There was certainly nothing intimate about this crime.
    It most certainly did not last a moment.

    It was rape. It was a crime.

    The actions after, I had always understood, were/are crimes.

  62. I read this with a heavy heart. As the mother of a 14 year old about to start high school I am terrified about what she will encounter. I have taught her to be there for her friends, to respect herself and to make good choices. What I am sure we all try to do as parents. I respect the opinions of those who have commented on the responsibilities of others. Unfortunately as a 19 year old I was at a party with a girl who was considered promiscuous. I remember one night at a party at a cabin in the woods where she was drunk and ended up having sex with multiple individuals. I assumed it was her choice and it may have been, or not. I remember thinking badly of her . After hearing about your daughter I have several regrets. Although I was not a close friend of this girl I should have made more effort to ensure she was ok. She did have friends there who I hope were watching out for her. I can’t really blame anyone in this case except the boys involved and the police for their failure to act. My daughter asked me why the boys were not charged with rape and I am at a lost to explain it to her. I can’t magine the pain you and daughter suffered. I can’t change the past but what I will do is continue to ensure that my daughter knows I will always be her wing man. I will continue to monitor her activities, her friends and whatever else it takes to ensure that she is safe. I can’t be there 24 hours a day. I can’t change that part of growing up is making mistakes and bad decisions. But no one should have a bad decision lead to the harassment and ongoing suffering that your family has suffered. I hope that the knowledge that her situation has brought such attention to this type of situation and has been instrumental in creating changes be of some comfort. My daughter said to me one day that she wished people had cared so much before when Rehtaeh felt so alone. God help me that she never feels the pain your daughter felt.

  63. Surely to heaven, the mother of the girl, whose home she went to sleep over in, has also some responsibility in this. It sickens me to think what she tried to cope with through this. She felt she had no power left that it had been taken from her. If the boys who did this are not punished, then I believe with everything that I am, the parents of the boys should be held responsible and punished accordingly. Let it be said, I am the mother of sons.

  64. Just to clarify, the mistake or bad decision I referred to was the vodka, nothing else. Rehtaeh was in no way responsible for what those boys did.

  65. I read all the outrage on here. All the damning remarks. Everyone wants to be able to point their fingers as soon as they heard about this tragedy. People come to their own conclusions before being presented with information, than they ignore first hand accounts, police decisions because they don’t fit with with what people want to believe. People are missing the point of this story. This young girl took her life because of emotional turmoil over the relentless bullying she suffered. She was the victim of an angry, hateful mob tormenting her to cause her emotional pain. Can you not see how this is the exact same thing all you hate spreaders are trying to do to these boys? This is the exact same behaviour, coming to a conclusion on something that happened that you were not even there for. This behaviour, this bullying needs to be one of the most important lessons from this horrible tragedy. Bullying is not acceptable and everyone on here is guilty of the same behaviour as the ones who tormented this poor girl. You do not know more about what happened that night than the police do, you weren’t there. Stop being narcissistic, judgemental , hate filled bullies (the likes of which were the ones responsible for tormenting this poor girl endlessly)

    1. Sven (Aug11/12:05 pm)

      Asking that criminals be held accountable for their actions, for their rape and criminal assault and criminal distribution of rape images is NOT harassment. If you read the legal statues (available somewhere else on one of the articles), it is the Law in Canada. There are existing laws on the books to cover all of this criminal activity. Asking that these criminals – all of them – face these (all of them) charges in court / face jail time / face having this on their records is NOT reverse harassment. It IS the law in Canada.

      No one was interviewed until recently. Why? That too sounds either like a complete abdication of normal procedure, or possibly also criminal.

      To think that these criminals (and there are most definitely more than two), are going on their merry way, without having been questioned by police, immediately, charged, tried in court, jail time, for sure does send the message that some people/some particular people/some noteworthy people can commit crimes and walk away. Likely even benefit, possibly from job or scholarship opportunities.

      Sven, would you feel comfortable with your young son or daughter having one of these individuals as a teacher / scout leader / hockey coach?

      Look up Graham James….I do wonder if he started out much like this? A sports hero, so kids/girls/boys were too scared to say anything/would not be believed.

      Would you want your young son or daughter to sell cookies house to house, and one of these criminals opened the door to them…Maybe “invited” them in to have a glass of milk while they looked for money?

      More and more, what happened to Rehteah looks like a planned entrapment. It would be very easy for these criminals to repeat this.

      Would you want your son or daughter to be offered a ride home after sports practice by one of these criminals?

      If you saw your young son or daughter smiling and getting into the car (for a ride home) with one of these criminals, what would you say?

  66. Everyone says ” look at the message this sends our young people”. Look at the responses to this blog. All of you who are spouting hate are telling young people that its ok to ignore evidence and our legal system and to gang up and bully people as ruthlessly as possible based on your own ignorant views. Maybe it’s not such a mystery why sad stories like this still happen with so much hate and ignorance around

    1. I’m going to assume you are male, and without daughters… I read what you wrote, all of it. And though you have some very valid points, you are missing the big picture here. She WAS raped. By all accounts she was so intoxicated that she was vomiting and semi conscience. A 15 year old in that condition CAN NOT CONSENT. a 45 year old in that condition CAN NOT CONSENT. Sex without consent IS RAPE. Period. End of sentence. Any point there after is moot.

      She took her life because she had been raped and no one took her seriously other than her parents and 1 or 2 friends. She took her life because in dismissing her allegations, the police raped her again. She took her life because her peers raped her spirit by blaming her, shaming her and out-casting her. She took her life because society still blames victims.

  67. I truly wish I could reverse this terrible tragedy as it is without a doubt heart breaking, and all I have to do is look at a picture of this beautiful young lady to see she was going to grow into a beautiful woman. I am truly sorry sir for your loss and am in complete agreement that the crown failed you miserably.

  68. It must have been very difficult for you to post this, Glen, and, it must have taken a lot of courage. Thank you for the post. This should never happen to any woman, person for that matter, and my heart goes out to you and your family. What is really concerning is that there are young men, boys, who think and behave in this way in today’s world of social and sexual enlightenment. I am glad that you have given a clearer, more accurate picture to the public of what happened that night and you have given a voice for Rehtaeh when it was taken away. I am truly saddened that Rehtaeh, a truly beautiful and inspiring soul, will not have the opportunity to fulfill her dreams and aspirations because of the callous, violent and insensitive acts of others. May God’s light surround her and you and your family always and in all ways.

  69. Glen — In her last days it was reported that Rehtaeh had a falling out with her best girlfriend and this may have precipitated her suicide attempt. Also her boyfriend was involved unsuccessfully with her declining situation. Can you clarify and confirm what finally made Rehtaeh go over the edge? Thanks. I grieve for your loss.

  70. Just wanted to point out, in case you all missed it. Saw a clip of the Police making statement on this case. I was so shocked and enraged and dumbfounded at one particular statement they included, I wondered if anyone else caught it/thought it was as obscene, as I did….

    somewhere after briefly stating there would be charges for Child Pornography, one of the Officers, made a statement to the effect ..(sorry do not have the exact words”

    “Well, something like 90 percent of rapes are not reported, and we want to make sure that people know they should report rape. We want to make sure that more people report rape.”

    Given their severe lack of action, in this case, I can only consider their comments “rubbing salt” in the would, and severely OBSCENE.

  71. Glen, this was needed to be out there for everyone to read. I hope this sheds some light to the officials working with this case to move forward with their investigation and into more charges on the boys. I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you feel every moment from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed.

    When I was 21, I was raped by two males that I went to college with… and had classes with. I did the right thing and called the police once I had gotten back to my house and went to the hospital to have a rape kit. A year and a half went by and finally it was time to go into the Trial and face my two classmates who ruined my college years (thankfully, the school knew about what happened and switched their classes so we never shared a class or crossed paths). Once we were in the courtroom I was sick. Looking at them while their girlfriends sat and listened to everything and the girlfriends were smiling… it was just so much to deal with. I had no one with me… Just me and the Crown Attorney. She told me we had a good case, and to just be honest and truthful about everything, and I was. It was a four day trial from hell… And then when I got the call from the Judge with his decision saying he acquitted both of them, even though I had REAL PROOF from one of them admitting through a text that he raped me, and him saying that his friend had raped me and he was sorry because when he had gone to the bathroom is when his friend took his turn. The fact that even someone ADMITTING to their actions and doesn’t lead to a conviction is absolutely disgusting.

    Nowadays it seems like a police officer has to be in the room watching you being raped in order to charge someone.

    I wish Rethaeh could have kept living, but I know how she was feeling all too well. I grieve the loss of your daughter every single day, and I keep up to date with every news story about her case.

    You are a very brave man to be so involved and spoken about everything that is going on, and I thank you for having the courage to do so.

  72. Dear Glen, I have been following this case since it first came to light. I first want to say that I am so sorry for the hurt you and your family must go through each and everyday. I have read the comments on here, and I am sure you were aware before posting this, that not all would be in agreement with your words or thoughts. I must say that it’s one thing to have an opposing opinion, however some of the comments on here are so disgusting that I decided not to read anymore. For anyone to even hint around at you or Rehtaeh’s Mother not being good parents, checking on your daughter, etc. is unbelievable. Teenagers are teenagers and at that age, you aren’t going to hold their hand through every step they take. You do have to give some sort of freedom. And not only that, nobody other than you and her Mother know what type of contact or relationship you had with your very own daughter. I have read every single news article about this case. Yes there are always different sides to a story. BUT, when it comes down to it, someone who is vomiting and also passed out is not able to consent to sex. Any person with MORAL VALUES would not do what they did that night to your daughter. Even if she was to say YES, what kind of person would do something like that? The parents of these kids should be absolutely disgusted and ashamed of not only their children, but themselves. To let their children go on in life and not take responsibility for their actions and live a life free everyday, knowing that a beautiful young girl took her own life because of their actions, is just unreal to me. I honestly do not know how they sleep at night. I know you may not ever find peace with this – how could you possiby? Here I am writing to you – a complete stranger. This story has touched me so much that I wish there was something I could say or do to make your world better. Thank for you for sharing this – I think that alot of people wanted to hear just what happened. Your beautiful daughter is looking down on you Glen. Take care.

  73. Dear Glen,
    First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. As a mother, I cannot imagine your pain. I applaud you for continuing to keep your daughter’s story alive. I hope you know that what you are doing is working. As a teacher, mother, and writer, I will continue to talk to anyone who will listen (my sons are my captive audience) about respect and consent. Here is a blog post I wrote after your daughter couldn’t fight anymore. Here’s hoping justice will eventually be served.

  74. Hi Glen,

    I just would like to reach out and say I’m sorry for this terrible tragedy that has fallen on your family. My mother went to high school with you, I believe, and I wanted to say that both my mother and I are deeply saddened this. I was bullied at a young age and attempted suicide myself. It didn’t work, thankfully, and I was able to see my family again and how much it would have affected them. I had so many people against me after the incident, who bullied and teased me and said I didn’t have the “balls” to go through with it. Today I am a different person and I am thankful to be alive. I am so sorry Rehtaeh did not have the same chance to be saved. No one believed in her, and if I had the wonderful opportunity to know her, I would have told her that I do. And still do, regardless of what others may say.

    I do not know what other words may comfort you in this time, expect please know that you and your family are not alone. I believe the kind spirit of her soul will live on and change our world for the better. RIP Rehtaeh. xoxo

  75. Is anyone suprised at the reaction of the do nothing cops in Nova Scotia? They would have had to do some investigating to”solve” a case of rape. They hide behind the prosecuters office and say there is nothing they can (WILL) do. If you have ever been a victim of crime here i would bet nothing was done to apprehend the criminals. I know first hand how hard these clowns work.

    Ever wonder why the crimes “solved” vs. reported by our cops are never made public? I would bet it is under 50%

    I have said before that, I would in your situation get “even” with those people involved and there would be nothing anyone could do to stop me. I would bet the cops would have a hard time finding out wht happened to four teenage scumbags because they would bever be found.

    Just sayin’

  76. Is anyone suprised at the reaction of the do nothing cops in Nova Scotia? They would have had to do some investigating to”solve” a case of rape. They hide behind the prosecuters office and say there is nothing they can (WILL) do. If you have ever been a victim of crime here i would bet nothing was done to apprehend the criminals. I know first hand how hard these clowns work.

    Ever wonder why the crimes “solved” vs. reported by our cops are never made public? I would bet it is under 50%

    I have said before that, I would in your situation get “even” with those people involved and there would be nothing anyone could do to stop me. I would bet the cops would have a hard time finding out wht happened to four teenage scumbags because they would never be found.

    Just sayin’

    1. Ignoring and not prosecuting rape is not exclusive to NS. In the US (sorry haven’t found the stats for Canada, but I imagine it is fairly similar around the world) for every 100 sexual assaults that ate reported only three assailants will be convicted and only 1 will face jail time.
      That’s of the ones reported, and sexual crimes tend to be very under reported, we need to end the bigger issue of victim blaming by the police and society as a whole if we ever want to get justice for the victims of sexually assault.

  77. Those boys are predators and they should be punished. Anyone to take advantage of an intoxicated girl is a sick abusive monster. Thumbs up while raping an intoxicated girl…disgusting! Makes me sick. I blame those boys and I blame their parents. Shame on all of them.

  78. I am very sorry for everything your daughter went through and what now you and everyone that cared about her are going through – regardless of the specific details, it’s horrible. But I’m afraid there’s a very important message that has not been presented by you or the media in all of this and is something teenagers today really need to hear, and that is the fact that suicide is the wrong decision to make, period. To say that that photo “killed” your daughter is false, and by saying so, you are almost endorsing the idea that suicide is a reasonable reaction to that sexual/physical assault and the subsequent psychological abuse your daughter went through. That photo didn’t kill your daughter; the bullying didn’t kill your daughter; as awful as I feel typing the words, your daughter killed herself, and the most important message from all this isn’t that teenagers can do terrible things to each other or that social media can be very harmful and needs to be controlled – and it does – but the most important message we need to tell our teenagers is that life can get better and wounds will heal, but suicide is forever and there is no justifying it, no matter how bad things seem to be.

    I hope this is a truth you can accept and make a part of the great public awareness work you’re doing, because it really is the part of this tragic story that most needs to be prevented from happening again.

    1. Sol, I can only assume you have lucky enough to never have felt so low, or worthless that ending it all crossed your mind. Sadly, so many people have felt that way. In the depths of clinical depression, and while I was getting out of a horribly abusive relationship I thought, for just a moment, that my family would be better off without me. My pain was so very deep, and I felt so very alone that I thought that closing my eyes and never opening them again might be the only way out. I’m so thankful I didn’t, I’m thankful that one friend saw through my “I’m ok” and rescued me from myself. But not everyone has someone who can reach them. And when you are that “alone” and that broken, it’s almost impossible to see how it can get better. Some people thing that Suicide is selfish, and in the grand scheme of things, to all those left behind, it is. But in the moment, at my lowest point, I felt that I would be doing those who loved me a favour. I would no longer be a burden on them, a worry for them. They would be able to bury me and move on with
      their lives.

      Did Rethaeh take her life? Yes. But she was pushed into a darkness so thick and so never ending by those who raped her, shamed her, ignored her, called her names, stood idly by while she suffered. It’s unfair for anyone who has never felt that kind of hopelessness to judge her. Had she been able to hang on just a little long, she may have seen that life could get better, but she was a child still. And children that age have a hard time waiting for a week or month to pass let alone waiting for what could have been years before it got better. She did the best she could to keep moving forward. And then she got tired. I’m so very very sad for her, and her family.

      1. I am certainly not judging poor young Rehtaeh, and though I am fortunate to never have felt so low that I seriously considered ending my life, I can understand how someone could. My comment was not about pointing fingers, it was about pointing out the fact that while rape-prevention and bullying-prevention are very important issues that need to be worked on, suicide-prevention is the MOST important issue, especially when it comes to young people who aren’t yet capable of fully fathoming the consequences.

        As sad and tragic as all of this is, it has the power to bring about real change in our society, and I’d hate to see the most important message get lost.

        1. You are most certainly judging her. Your comment is precisely about “pointing fingers” and diminishing the responsibility of those who do severe psychological harm to a child and that you would do them here is despicable.

          You are simply dead wrong and show a complete lack of understanding of the neurological effects the sustained abuse she suffered can have. The abuses and violations she endured left deeper biological damage than a physical assault. She had PTSD and it is clear you have no personal experience with what it feels like to go through suicidal depression.

          She tried to get help for this. She sought medical help and was essentially treated like a drug addict and not the victim of sexual assault and child pornography. She was forced to sit in a group session to discuss what she was going through with strangers that also included someone who knew her from school and more horrifyingly she was stripped naked by two men with no regard for what she had been put through when the very treatment she was receiving aggravated her condition instead of helping out. How would you feel if you had a daughter who was coping with rape and suicidal depression and this was the treatment she received when she reached out for help?

          The fact is that this damage was done to her, repeatedly and sustained by countless people and she was harassed right up until the day she gave up. Science has shown that will power is a finite capacity and I can tell you from personal experience that suicidal depression is not something you can think your way through, it is NOT about not understanding the consequences. The very medical help she sought traumatized her even more when she was in an extremely vulnerable condition and you presume to lecture about education and prevention? As a survivor of suicidal depression, child pornography and the resulting PTSD that has plagued my life for more than twenty years, you disgust me and probably caused a great deal of pain with your post to many survivors who have read you ignorant comments and victim blaming.

          1. No, it was quite clear you were blaming a child suffering from severe mental illness that she was abused into for her death.

  79. “At one point during the assault the girlfriend who came with her appeared at the door and got angry at Rae. Both of the boys in the room were ex-boyfriends. It was, to her, a betrayal. She left and returned later with her mother and they tried to get Rehtaeh to leave with them but given her state that didn’t happen (Rehtaeh never recalled her friend showing up in the bedroom). So the girl and her mother left.”

    Wow. This minor child was left in the custody of a parent who then let her go to an unchaperoned party, visited the party, saw the girl in distress, and did nothing about it. I would not want to be in that parent’s position right now. When you are aware that a minor is staying in your house, that minor is under your care and supervision. YOU, the ADULT, are responsible for what happens to that minor, and that involves calling the police if the minor is in trouble and also informing that minor’s parents.

  80. I just want to say thank you for sharing this – it must be one of the hardest things to do – to make public the horrifying events that led to your daughters death.
    Please know that your courage will help. It hopefully will be the beginning of a change to the justice system. I hope that the fear of reporting lessens for all victims and the re-victimization of them through the system disappears.
    Your daughters experience will help parents to educate their children about consent and it will help another girl to make a smarter choice when it comes to drinking with unknown people. It will help girls who have experienced rape (in all of it’s forms) to know that they are not alone and that they can get help.
    Peace and Love to you and all who have been affected by this tragedy. Love and light to all the victims and survivors

  81. Something else that DEEPLY offends me about this situation…

    besides hearing very little done by the police re justice,
    one thing the police to think they should be saying, is “We want to WARN the public not to engage in vigilante justice”….

    all I’m saying, is , the police seem pretty darn quick to pressure everyone to do nothing….It is my belief if not for a whole LOT of public “pressure” we would not have seen even the meager results we have…

  82. Too say I am so sorry is an under statement. My God, NO ONE should have too go through what Rehtaeh, You and your entire family has gone through. How much is enough???? I do not think I could keep your kind of composure, I have a daughter of just 20 and a younger one the age of 8. My God I would be in jail for murder, I know I would be out to kill someone. I know its would solve nothing, but my mind would crawl the walls. I can tell you this, I cannot see any father that would find you guilty. I can promise you, if I was on the jury, I would vote not guilty. You have my respect sir and may GOD be with you and your family. I feel so ashamed to be a Human Being. Kids or not I really hope they Rote, some times a life is not worth saving. I wonder if the Bastards still find or think its funny, cause you can be sure they did, well until they got caught. Than they were so sorry, gee funny that. I do not buy Croc Tears, to hell with them all.

    “Words Fail Me” You are so very true. Only enough to save there own Asses and that’s about it.

  83. My deepest sympathy. There is no greater grief than losing a child. Questions come to mind. Why is it in the case of sexual abuse and crime that so much of the negativity is focused upon the victim and not on the perpetrator or perpetrators? For those who have a personality twist toward bullying ,why do they focus on the victim instead of the perpetrators? Years ago when an unmarried girl got pregnant the expression was “She got into trouble” I never heard the expression “He got into trouble. ” connected with it . In the gospels of the Bible it speaks of an incident in which a woman caught in the act of adultery was brought to Jesus with the hope that he would condemn her. He did not respond directly but stooped down and wrote in the sand. It is not known what he wrote. I am going to make a guess and suggest that he wrote questions such as “Where is the man who was involved?” and “Why did you bring her and not him?” After a bit the accusers dropped their stones and left, probably with well deserved uncomfortableness and shame.

  84. This situation is so absolutely unfortunate in so many horrible ways. The fact that boys today think it’s ok to have sex with intoxicated girls (consensual or otherwaise!) is appalling. A person who can’t drive, make cognitive decisions, or really understand what’s going on around them is unable to give consent. We need to teach our boys that girls who are drunk (as Rehteah obviously was) should never be approached with any type of sexual intent. Just becasue she was unable to object doesn’t mean she wanted it. Punks.

    This exact thing happened to my friend in junior high. We had a party with no parental supervision, underage drinking and my freind had way too much too fast. She ended up locked in a bedroom with a guy. Worried about her, I had one of our guy friends break the door in. We found her unconcious and topless on a bed, with the guy droping her and masterbating beside her. It sickens me that these things happen, she was mortified, and I imagine it would have been a billion times worse had one of us snapped a picture and shared it around school.

    We teach our girls not to put themselves into high risk situations, don’t walk alone at night, don’t dress like a slut, always stay with a friend. What we need to be doing is teaching our boys to be protectors of women and girls, friends to them, watchers, in stead of the little predators they are. (Obviously there are stand up guys out there, but this stuff keeps happening, and it’s being accepted. That needs to stop, and it starts with educating our boys.)

    I wish you the best, and am so sorry for your loss. I hope your story will serve as a lesson to young men as much as the media has used it as a cautionary tale for young women. It is NOT ok to have sex with a girl, just becasue she came over and got drunk at your house.

    And shame on that idiot of a mother who left her there. She’s unfit.

  85. Mr. Canning,
    I would like to thank you for providing us with the details of this horrendous tragedy. It is very difficult for most of us to even imagine your pain and how you have suffered for nearly two years. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that your account of the events as provided by your daughter and the witness makes total sense and should and probably would be accepted by any Judge and or Jury in the country. I sincerely believe if a proper investigation had been conducted and the necessary action taken, your daughter would be alive and well today. The arrest and subsequent charges related to child porn is meaningless compared to what they would be facing had the proper charges been laid and in so far as the inquiry launched by the NS government, I believe we all know what the outcome will be. The RCMP is nothing more than an organization of deceit brought about by incompetence and poor leadership….how could we possibly expect more from an organization with their track record when it comes to sexual assault followed by bullying.

  86. How can someone think that a person would consent to having sex while at the same time hurling their guts out the window? Everyone was probably drunk so he probably heard the no as yes. Whether or not he intended to rape her, rape is still rape. If she said no and he heard yes in his intoxicated state he was still raping her. It would appear he’s pleading ignorance.

  87. I feel exhausted, and I have not been personally involved. All I have done, is pass on the websites, etc..

    Seriously, I feel exhausted by the lack of action/lack of meaningful charges/etc.

    Today I read in the news that the lawyer(s) for the ones charged with Child Pornography, are bleating to the Judge, how unfair/unjust etc all this publicity etc is, as the lawyer feels it negatively impacts/accuses the clients.

    No NO NO

    The lawyer is so wrong.

    From my point at any rate.

    I am so underwhelmed at the measly charges laid,
    I am so underwhelmed at only two charged

    Why were not all charged?
    Why were not the parents who allowed this party in their house charged?

    I am sorry to say this (on account of fearing to hurt the feelings of the Mom/Dad), but
    what has been charged seems so “measely” to me
    the number persons charged seems so inappropriate to me
    the seriousness of this rape/assault is what is on my mind…. NOT two persons who have been charged with some minor charges……NOT two people who I still wonder maybe are patsies/still wonder if there were inducements from more important – illustrious to take the fall…

    oh, I could go on and on….. but convicting these two of Child Pornography (in my mind) is NOT in my mind…

    again, Words Fail Me, and I feel so sad for her Family. I am exhausted…they surely are more so.

  88. They lawyer of the one guy is so full of crap. Check out the video of Rehtaeh’s uncle. He really drives home how much this is nonsense as does Glen’s latest tweet.

    There have been accusations that one of those involved is related to a cop and that really makes you wonder when Christie Blatchford claims to see a file involving minors and then wrote a piece that was clearly meant to disrupt the case and slander a dead child (and of course profit from the pain and anger of others which is typical of her).

    Was there really not enough evidence or do we have a case of a cop tampering with evidence and disrupting an investigation? The initial investigation was directed at Rehtaeh and not the accused, so I really have to wonder what was going on here. The negligence and refusal to do the job as properly required is very suspicious and sure looks like someone tried to sweep something under the rug that they didn’t want others to see.

    1. Rehtaeh’s uncle Michael’s excellent response to the lawyers claim that his client has already been tried in public is here. It is the second video.

      Rehtaeh was convicted in her community, due to malicious and intentional actions, for two years. Many people decided to not only overlook child porn and severe harassment, they chose to join in the lynch mob that eventually drove her to suicidal depression. Some were even people she had thought were her friends. This wasn’t just “cyber-bullying”. This was often direct abuse and according to her uncle she was subjected to this right up until she died. FOR TWO YEARS.

      She was a child and a victim of sexual crimes (of this there is no doubt because there are hundreds of witnesses to the child porn) and she was the one put on trial by those around her and by the investigation itself. Those boys will probably get a few months of house arrest at most. She was tortured for two years until she could take it no longer.

      The guys, those that continued the abuse directly or by sending her horrible messages or continuing to share the picture and virtually every part of the system that was supposed to help her and failed (either by negligence or intent) are all culpable in her death. I have no sympathy for those two that were charged. They had no problem getting many others to try to destroy her life (literally) and they did that while completely sober.

      They did NOTHING to stop the abuse and spread of the child porn and dismissed it as a “community issue”. Even if there was no intentional disruption by a family member as has been alleged, there was clear crimminal negligence in a required response to a claim of rape and the continuing exploitation and torture of a child.

      I have said it before and I will say it again, this was cold blooded murder in my eyes and there are many who participated and many who aided and abetted it and includes the very people whose sworn duty was to uphold the law and protect Rehtaeh.

  89. Hey Glen, I don’t use social media and I never will but my wife has been following this tragedy for some time so I thought I’d be a hypocrite and jump on her site.
    I gotta say some things.
    1st I have no idea what you are going through.
    2nd I truly believe that if this crime was committed on US soil that our authorities – cops and prosecutors – would’ve come down on these boys with both feet. I’m not saying my counetry is better than yours but I am saying that I don’t think our authorities would be fucking around with arresting these little pricks. Therefore, I have absolutely no confidence in the RCMP. Is that right? The Mounties?
    3rd I listened to your radio interview a few weeks ago and I was amazed at your restraint. The very fact that instead of going after those boys you asked your daughter “how can I help you?” That touched me and I think about that alot in my daily interactions with my own kids. Had I been in your shoes I’d probably be in jail right now.
    I hope you and your family find justice and ultimately peace.
    Your friend, Craig
    Billings, Montana

  90. I am so sorry for what these animals did to your beautiful daughter. The police and community protecting these little monsters should be ashamed of their actions. I simply cannot believe the disregard for human life in this world. I am so sick of these entitled teenagers and the level of violence they partake in. The fact that they are targeting the parents is unspeakable. I hope you find peace and that proper justice is served. May these little bastards get what is deserved. I commend your efforts and please know that many stand behind you. The injustice of this crime brings me to tears.

  91. You are so amazingly courageous for being able to write this after going through what you have I read your other article about your daughter and who she was. What a beautiful human being you raised. You are doing such justice for her, just in this site alone. I am so sorry for what you had to lose in this life, I know what that is. You embody what it means to be a Dad. You are a great dad.

    This has made an impact on me.

  92. This was never ever Rehaeh’s fault..She was raped mentally as well as physically..when you have a drink and passed out like Rehtaeh was, you are supposed to be looked after..The boys were cowards because they did it to a helpless girl who wasn’t capable of anything and it was like having sex with a dead corpse and no different..Where was her so called friend who should have tken her home with her and the mother is just as disgusting..I hope these young men live with what they have done for the rest of their lives..I believe in karma and believe they might not think it now they will get it all back..Women and girls are just as bad in these situations and blame the female and never the boys or man..they are even more judgement than alot of men and will leave you to get attacked and still blame you..thats why we have the crap justive system as alot of jurors are woman and they really judge you..because they are so pathedic themselves round men and being are so supposed to have a mind of our own..

  93. we need to start up an organization that takes care of obvious injustices for all canadians, clearly we can not rely on the police to protect us or give us justice.

  94. I think we all need some justice here. Since the cops are equally lazy as they are stupid why don’t we put a group of citizens together and go find the boys responsible. We could slowly torture them so not only do they feel some of the victims pain but set a standard by releasing the torture footage on youtube to show others that this is what will happen to you if you commit a crime like rape! This is a great country but when a placelike india is catching and prosocuting gangrapists we look fuckin foolish because we don’t! Let’s take our country back people we can’t keep the tunnel vision bullshit going.

  95. I am so sorry for your loss, my heart is broken thinking about what a horror losing someone you love that way would be. I have a son and daughter just entering their teens and this will be a topic we discuss during family duscussions. Not only about how to avoid situations like this because all teens put themselves in harms way at some point but how to be a supportive human being and do everything they can to help anyone else in trouble. We can talk to our kids and try our best to make it very clear- RAPE is never justifiable. EVER! A victim of rape or un wanted sex is NEVER at fault. Listen and pay attention to your kids the best you can, parents can’t know everything that happens but maybe if kids feel safe to tell parents things that won’t be well received, maybe one bad situation can be avoided. It only takes one bad one.
    I have to wonder if the parents of these degenerates, the police or anyone else who doesn’t demand it necessary for these four rapist hell monsters to be accountable and punished for their cruelty, have they asked themselves who and when those demons’ next victim may be? Close your eyes and picture a woman or girl in your life who you love enough to die for, imagine them vomiting while a sick individual thinks they are just ” having consentual sex” rapes them. Imagine her being humiliated degraded and re victimized by the people who shouldve been protecting her, the legal system and by people in their community all around them. Imagine that beautiful person feeling so ripped of their spirit and so destroyed inside that she cannot bare to live one more day. Could you be ok with that? OF COURSE NOT!!! The parents of those rapists can keep their heads burried in the sand and communities can forget but it will not change the fact that Rehtaeh is gone and chances are those four soulless screw ups will victimize another woman someday, somehow, somewhere… WILL IT BE YOUR WIFE,MOTHER,DAUGHTER,NIECE,GRANDAUGHTER,FRIEND OR ANY OTHER WOMAN YOU KNOW??? To those of you who know what happened and don’t speak out, HOW CAN YOU SLEEP BEING OK WITH THIS???HOW WILL YOU FEEL IF ITS A WOMAN OR GIRL YOU LOVE??? Be a decent person, do the right thing for crying out loud. God,( or whatever you believe in) help us!

  96. After reading many of the posts here, it is terrifying to realize how many people just don’t “get it.” This kind of thing is happening more and more often, yet so many people still blame the victim. It is heartbreaking. One in four women is raped during her lifetime. I knew many, many in college that this happened to. Almost every friend that I am close enough to to talk about these things has experienced rape, too. How the males involved cannot understand the seriousness of these incidents is beyond me. How will this ever end? God bless all who have been hurt in these incidents. God forgive us all.

  97. I’m so terribly sorry for you loss. My heart breaks for your family. I’m not only disgusted at those boys, her “friend” and her irresponsible mother (if she even was there) for being so self-absorbed that she could not see what was happening for what it really was, but for the responses on Facebook and at school from the ignorant people who called her names. What is this world coming too? I have a young son and daughter that I will be discussing your daughter’s horrible ordeal with this evening. I don’t understand how these boys could do something like this while posing for a picture. Where is the shame? It’s little consolation, I’m sure, but I will make my kids understand how dangerous underage drinking can be even when you think you are safe because you are with friends. Obviously, this girl was NOT a friend. As far as her mother is concerned, that woman should be charged with something. She walked into a room where a 15 year old girl was being raped and she walked out without so much as a call to her parents. Is she stupid? If a child is underage, she can’t conset. It’s the law. She is DISGUSTING! We will be praying for you and your family. Again, I’m so sorry.

  98. we must all remember that rape is not all about the sexual content if at all, its about control and power over the victim. I’m a father of five girls and grand father of six. I really don’t know what I would do if this happened to one of them and I know the guilty. Heart goes out to the family, the memory of this young girl and any other who has suffered in this manner. One thing I do know is that the guilty would have to live in protective custody if they go to prison, they have a way of taking care of this type of people in lock up and maybe they deserve it.

  99. It pains me to learn that this child is now dead because of this shameless, and evil act done against her. The parents of those boys should ask themselves, what kind of men have they raised? and to the other kids, especially the young women that passed around the photo, shame on you all. This whole situation shows the lack of morality, conviction, humanity and basic human kindness. To the mother who supposedly entered the room and left that young girl there I ask this question…What if it were your daughter?…would you leave her there?…Couldn’t you and your daughter together gotten her out of that room. Something is seriously wrong with our kids when they can treat each other so cruelly and when the victim of rape is treated as the villian!!!….and when parents of the offenders can turn a blind eye and try to justify the evil that their child has done. How many more are suffering like Rehtaeh Parsons who have been raped and are afraid because their friends and peers would make them suffer for it?!…We as the adults need to take our children back!!…they are hurting themselves and others!!

  100. Glen, I cannot begin to tell you how much pain I felt when I was reading this story and to see that humanity has not evolved and that girls are still falling victims of this crime and then blamed. To think that there was no one else besides you guys willing to give her emotional support, makes me sick. I am really sorry that this happened to you, to your little girl. I pray that you find comfort for your pain.

    To the one claiming this was “consent under the influence” You may wanna go back and read the other boy’s statement, if he called the other 3 boy’s action a rape then why are you still defending them? The little coward threw his buddies under the bus but at the end of the day he knows what he has done.

  101. My GOD how this story brings so much pain to my heart… I grieve for you and your little girl..I too am a father and just the thought of this ever happening to my baby girl brings tears to my eyes… I have to say that you are strong…stronger than I would ever have been… my weakness would only come in the form of anger and hatred…I would surely have hunted down those 4 young “men” and beaten them all possibly to death along with the mother who say my little girl there and did nothing…. this makes me weak and again thinking of it makes me angrier and angrier… stay strong as you going to jail would only compound an already horrific ordeal… I am sorry and will always hold your little girls name in my heart as Ive never heard such a tragic story. GOD bless you and your family.

  102. Dear Sir, If you know the boys then I would say feel free to take care of it. They don’t deserve to be walking around so they can live with or without guilt, and I bet its without guilt. I still think as women and men that support us, we need to join together and become an organization of attorney’s, doctors, lobbyist, counselors, etc, to put a stop to this. It happens to often, and this society does nothing to put a clamp on it. If the NAACP can protect, then possibly, we as Citizens Against Rapist, can also become more outspoken and protect each other. Somehow, we need to convince the so called protectors of our nation to put this higher on the agenda. No reason for this sort of barbarian mentality. For teenagers and adults to do this is absolutely pathetic. I know, I was kidnapped and raped by paroled convicts for 3 days. When I was released, I got home to find my things out on the lawn. My mother and father had kicked me out, assuming I was not an abiding daughter. My things were soaked from rain. It was a very heartbreaking moment for me. I know I could not report it at that point. My father would have called me a liar and my mother would have blamed me. Its been over 30 years ago. I realized when I was in my 40s that I had PTSD. Its been a long road. But I’ve managed.

  103. Pingback:Rape Culture | David Loach

  104. Pingback:Bullied Dead Girl’s Photo Used for Dating Promotion Ad on Facebook | Rhythm Rave Radio

  105. Pingback:How men can help end rape - Glen Canning

Comments are closed.