Sexualized Violence and Trauma

If anything this case is going to bring meaningful conversations about how trauma plays out. Its never in a predictable neat package.
Several reasons given for not laying charges in Rehtaeh’s case falls into this as well. One was that when one of the males texted her to ask if she was okay because he heard she was upset she responded that “Its cool lol” and was used against her.
Also, that she woke up the next morning in that home and did not leave immediately. Both makes sense to me because
1) Being in trauma mode and being contacted brings up a mixed bag of emotions. In Rehtaeh’s situation she clearly just wanted him to go away and leave her alone. However, responding by being nice in this Ghomeshi case discussed in this article could be the brain not wanting to accept something so awful has happened.
2) When Rehtaeh woke in that home the next morning she didnt recall much of anything and with memory/trauma it takes days, weeks, months to put the pieces together and not necessarily in the order in which events occurred. Slowly, she pieced together snippets of memory.

*****note to those who will certainly email me to say “why did you let your daughter go to a party etc…etc… Rehtaeh went to a sleepover that was supposed to be at a “friends” house. As much as we wish we could monitor our 15yr olds 24/7 they need to develop gradual independence as they mature. OH, and people also get raped in daylight hours too. ***

****For those who will chime in to say “women lie about rape.” Lying about rape is no higher than lying about any other crime however the amount of stress and condemnation directed at you when reporting rape is much higher than other crimes.

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