Fourth of the month……. 23months! How could it be that so much time has passed so fast. A song came on the radio today …a new song. I thought Rehtaeh would love that song then a searing reality followed, I will never know how her tastes would change and emerge. I looked at her bedroom walls and thought she would not even like these colours any longer. What would she like now? What would she be doing? She will always be 17yrs and younger for me. These thoughts started swirling around my mind. But you know what happened next?
A young voice asking me what I missed most about Rehtaeh? Another asking…how do you stay so positive? These were the two questions asked of me by youth last week after a presentation…
I asked myself is that how you came across? Positive? Then I thought Rehtaeh is never coming home…that pain is my shadow. When people look at me I dont want to looked at with pity but that young boy looked at me and saw positivity. I dont know why in my pain those are the words that entered my mind. I believe those words appeared to remind me that the pain is there to stay but when I speak from my heart I am moved by love to honour Rehtaeh by living not existing. Love never dies!